Week 3 - breathless (0-1) vs. Innovator (0-2) - INNOVATOR WINS 7-5

[Adonis]

Breth - So I'll be honest, I starter liking the cluttered flow but grew tired of it as I progressed. What I mean by cluttered is every bar it seems has a different by wide margin syllable count, then the lines with in lines are also very different which hurts the flow...Example.

"But he's got the town, thought about bein prodigal once
with the need to get out of the ruts dug on solid grounds, he followed his gut."

the flow is decent, but it's just cluttered, as if you tried to fit in one too many inners or you just needed to shorten the length by a word or two. The other issue I had is the broken sentences between two bars let alone two stanza's. I.e "it can't suck half as much as this clear disaster... of a "family"...

Just too many breaks in flow while reading it. as far as the story itself, I took it as face value in that you literally writing in first person giving us a peer into a drunken soul struggling with the demons which hit me very close to home as I'm currently battling my demons trying to get sober and seeking the help of others, so on that front I felt the story due to the close meaning in my personal life. I think you have mad talent, but in this case, maybe less is more, meaning less rhymes as far as inners, not less as words or story length. Nice drop either way, elevate.

Inno - I liked the approach, not so much execution, especially last stanza as far as rhyme scheme. But that last stanza as far as depth was the best part, I just wish it had more rhymes I guess. Also felt like a lack of inners, but the writing as a piece on face value conveyed a nice message and resonates. I enjoyed the verse to say the least, but there were some wording issues but nothing I couldn't say that didn't exceed the issues of breath.

I got inno in a close match. The reason being I felt he better used the pic as a topic in words, painting a illuminating a nice poetic "vibe" or emotion with language.