SKULLKID (deadman/split8) - Emeritus I

zygote · 09-30-2013, 02:09 AM

The second half seems to be deadman, and the first half Split8 although the styles are somewhat similar so don't take offense if that is incorrect. It seems to be deadman because the writing is more restrained/refined. Only the style is restrained not the content, which is varied and stimulating. Also really enjoy the language-playing mixed in with the popculture references - E.g., "optometrist prime" and the "Cubicle - Kublai Khan." Also the "Split halves into 8th's" part was a nice nod to your co-writer.

The first half is less restrained/refined in terms of rhyme scheme and line length. You have really increased your rhyme scheme technique, the first four lines and the "funeral rock" parts were very impressive in terms of their scope. The writing is more open ended and often the ending to a particular thought is surprising and unexpected - from a readers standpoint it felt good to be kept on the toes. E.g., the part from Kansas to the lost in the forest line, was a standout within your half of the submission.

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09-30-2013, 02:09 AM	#2
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	The second half seems to be deadman, and the first half Split8 although the styles are somewhat similar so don't take offense if that is incorrect. It seems to be deadman because the writing is more restrained/refined. Only the style is restrained not the content, which is varied and stimulating. Also really enjoy the language-playing mixed in with the popculture references - E.g., "optometrist prime" and the "Cubicle - Kublai Khan." Also the "Split halves into 8th's" part was a nice nod to your co-writer. The first half is less restrained/refined in terms of rhyme scheme and line length. You have really increased your rhyme scheme technique, the first four lines and the "funeral rock" parts were very impressive in terms of their scope. The writing is more open ended and often the ending to a particular thought is surprising and unexpected - from a readers standpoint it felt good to be kept on the toes. E.g., the part from Kansas to the lost in the forest line, was a standout within your half of the submission.