another piece written like zombie

[Kaeo Seru]

This was unexpected. wasn't quite ready for this when i clicked to open the thread. I was expecting something with more fire. this had a strong poetic vibe to it. and that in and of itself isn't a bad thing. but i felt that you could've worked at wording your emotions better or re-worked some of the imagery to produce something more profound. but this was "cute". If i heard this at a spoken word event thats what id get from that. not a bad thing but you are capable of more