Week 3 - Mr. J v VERITAS - V WINS

[Nigma]

J, dope flow as usual. Read smoothly, kinda wish you stuck with some rhyme schemes longer, but it was a short verse and I guess that would not be practical. Did as much as you could for being brief, but compared to what you could have done with a longer write it seems underdeveloped. Chalk it up to being rushed, I'd guess. Enjoyed it for what it was though, you could probably add to it and post it in the OM

Veritas, you always have dope content and some interesting take on things within your writing but your mechanics hold you back. Pay more attention to syllable count, take your first bar for example:
"Not an emotional man, but this the kinda topic where the pen slips,
The score: the reasons for why we end our friendships…."

First line is perfect, gets the reader asking questions with the hint of inciduated emotional ties, I like it. The second line is lackluster in syllable count alone. Sometimes I have lines similar to that after a rough draft but you can always add a word or two to balance things out. For extra points you could have that word rhyme with or provide assonance for/with another word in the line. Even with the second line having more syllables isn't a bad thing but its kinda a let down for an opener to sound like that.

/rant

But yeah enjoyed the verse. The wording and content had a 'real' feel towards them. Expanded on your concept nicely, nadda bad verse muh bruddah.

Prognosis, If J would have had the amount of content as Veritas I wouldn't be surprised if my vote would change, but as is, I don't feel like finishing this sentence.

+1 Veritas