Week 2 - oats vs Mr. J - OATS WINS

[Certain]

Mr. J: You had a few really strong sections to your verse, but I think your fatal flaw was attempting a twist ending that was really just your topic. We all knew you were writing about vegans in one way or another before reading your verse. That's kind of the flaw of topical writing, or at least one of them. I thought the first six or eight lines were really good stuff, a nice mix of imagery and wit. Your rhymes bounced around a bit, never quite hitting on perfect but also working well enough to sustain the rhythm. I think if you had approached your topic more head-on, you could have shown your wit more and written a stronger verse through and through. With that said, this was a good read.

oats: I'm pretty sure feminists would hate your verse. But fuck 'em. I thought this was slick as hell. Your take on the topic was fresh, and you drove it home with a lot of great, concrete details that made your protagonist into a fully developed character in the space of 20 lines. Your rhymes also were great. What I really liked about the twist on the topic was that it could be taken literally, too. It seems perfectly reasonable that the woman you described was a vegan. The biggest difference between your verse and Mr. J's was the double meaning of the word "vegan," which made the ending seem so much more complex and interesting. This was a good battle, but I thought the winner was fairly clear.

Vote: oats