Bearings

[PancakeBrah]

I could have lived without the ambiguity. North, south, east west? If so, I don't know the relation and I'm not motivated to try. Neighbor, son, wife, embalmer, like Serpent thought? If so, why not just type out the entire word. The purposeful ambiguity hurts an otherwise beautifully written piece. At first I felt ignorant for not knowing the significance of the letters but after reflection it's not my job to make the writer's point. It's to interpret what's given to me, and when it's purposefully ambiguous I just let it ride and read the words. If you wanted me to miss the point, mission accomplished. It doesn't help that your writing is almost always an ethereal, floating jumble of well written ideas that hover just out of reach of your concrete point. I'll read this in the interpretation Serpent brought up as the more I think about it and reread the piece the more it makes sense. But why the difficulty? Do you feel typing out the words would be too blunt?

As for the actual meat of the piece, it's excellent. "Alzheimer drills it's sober concave" is great metaphysical imagery and perfectly put. The dog days/coat hangs idea was great. Took a common turn of phrase and couched it to fit the tone of the neighbor. 'Dress up the sounds in your vicinity' is also nice and maybe the point we're to take home from the neighbor? Their essential inconsequence, background noise that's acknowledged but in a manner that's without care? Sure. I'll go with that.

"Such raw will imparted in a bawling carcass" is fun. I love these types of lines, a biting backhand compliment. Why the comma between 'hard' and 'to'? That comma confounds me to the concave of alzheimers in my head. If it's just a parenthetical phrase then the sentence doesn't make sense when continued to the next line, and if it's not a parenthetical phrase it still doesn't make sense. A pause break? I would hope not. But me bitching about that is high hypocrisy because I do that shit all the time....

"Despite your hardy, foaming angst, you'll never starve your growing pains.
You know your name, are told your age, it all depends how long you stay."

...that's the best couplet from the first two verses. The first line in particular is mint.

"In loving jest, confess I love you.." is strong. Going right to confess after the comma is what makes it work. Actionable and breathless, a good example of the importance of wording. "The way diamonds are the forever moment floating on your fingertips," is more of the same.

The entire 'E' section is concise and without need of an adjustment or critique. Simply put, a well contained, smooth flowing, descriptive piece of language. Probably my favorite of the bunch.

Infinity+an integer was swell as well, forgot to mention. Some might see it as corny but I thought it was neat-o.

The end was perfunctory but well done.

Overall a strong piece that I thoroughly enjoyed reading, but one that left me a little empty. Such strong wording and voice to be lost for ambiguity seems like a shame. Maybe I'm just not smartz enough 2 get u.

Look forward to reading more.