Best Movies of 2012

Void · 07-06-2013, 05:04 PM

Yea, I know it's July 2013.

Argo was overrated. Prometheus was underrated. The more time goes by, the more it seems like Dark Knight Rises was almost pointless to make. Batman Begins was decent, but mostly because of the promise of more and better Batman movies. Only The Dark Knight delivered. Ted was stupid, because I'm 30. Magic Mike was better than expected, but still a movie about a male stripper. The Hunger Games is a perfect example of advertising, and the way it tries to make a movie great before it's even come out. The action shots were worse than Cloverfield's camera work, but in a completely different genre. Now Jennifer Lawrence is trapped in this piece of shit trilogy that is looking like George Lucas' attempts at being political in Phantom Menace. Why not just remake 1984? The Master was pretentious dribble. The Andy Samberg vehicle, Celeste and Jesse Forever was better than those shitty Dane Cook movies, but equally forgettable. When's the last time a standup comic made good movies? Eddie Murphy? Tom Hanks? Jim Carrey? Adam Sandler? Anyone more recent? No one comes to mind, unless you include the whole Judd Apatow crowd, but that's more a credit to him than an actor. Trouble with the Curve had promise, but Justin Timberlake managed to come off dull, the pacing was droll and the story was mishandled. Skyfall was overrated. I almost walked out in the first act because it felt like I was watching a Naked Gun parody of an action movie. The Woman in Black was a classic, well told ghost story, but despite what I feel was a decent performance from Harry Potter, I think the movie would have benefited greatly with a different lead. Might be a semi-cult movie in 10 years. The Watch was so bad and absurd that I enjoyed it. Vince Vaughn has become a parody of himself. Hit and Run was fun. It was like Dax Shepard wrote himself into a role all typical 11 year old boys imagine themselves as. Tom Arnold was out of place and weird, but when isn't he? The Possession was like Hellraiser without the gore or Pinhead. It's like Jumanji/Constantine/-insert exorcism movie-. The Sessions was like a porn version of Forrest Gump, but where Lt. Dan is the lead character. Okay, much less amazing than that. I kind of want that movie made now. This is 40 was like Funny People, but with the characters from Knocked Up. End of Watch was like a really, really good episode of Cops. Zero Dark Thirty was too realistic. I appreciated the fact that they didn't do a lot of dramatization for a true story, but when your characters are doing manhunt legwork and paperwork, feeling like you're there isn't necessarily something you want. It's like getting to go home early from your job as a data processor and playing a video game where you process data. It's like a well acted/directed dramatization of investigating. Guess that was the point. Boring, though. The Impossible made me cry, and it was better than World Trade Center (The beginning of the end for Nick Coppola), or United 93 (Conspiracy). It came off as sort of a tribute for those who lived through the tsunami. I'm not on the Wes Anderson bandwagon, and Moonrise Kingdom didn't sway that decision. I get it. It's kind of quirky. Weird kids who like being weird like Wes Anderson. He's like Hot Topic. Fuck him, and fuck Bill Murry. Nah, it was okay. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of those movies that's your favorite when you're 16, but you realize doesn't resonate the same way later in life. It's like A Catcher in the Rye, minus being the assassin's companion. Sinister is almost cool, but it isn't. Mass hangings and murder by lawn mower. Ruby Sparks is Stranger Than Fiction with a really cute girl instead of Will Farrell, and an author with less fairytale morality. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is awesome. Safety Not Guaranteed is more awesomer, and has that really cute/weird girl from Parks and Recreation. Jack Reacher is basically Tom Cruise being cool. It's kind of annoying, because HE'S A JERK in what I perceive to be his real life, but this is kind of like his Knight & Day character, only less zany (Less Tom Cruise). It's like John McClain mixed with Jason Bourne. The Bourne Legacy surprised me, because generally a fourth installment in a franchise minus its lead character/actor is destined for $5 bargain bin. Jeremy Renner is actually pretty believable, and the way they meshed the story together with the previous films while beginning a new chapter was impressive. A Place Beyond the Pines is kind of hard to categorize, because the scope is so wide. The things we label people are never who they are, and it's exactly who they are. We're all capable of being the hero, or the criminal. It drives this point home in a very impartial way. The Grey places the symbolism of man in his once natural environment and asks whether or not he can still survive. If that man is Liam Neeson, he probably can. It's like The Edge, minus the angle of murder and with wolves instead of a bear. Oh, and Qui-Gon Jinn instead of Alec Baldwin. Seven Psychopaths is the feel good comedy of the year... if you're a blood thirsty nihilist. I thought of making this movie once, only mine was going to star Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Gary Busey, Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Nick Cage and Chris Walken. Sam Rockwell stealing Woody Harrelson's dog is about as elaborate a premise as one would need to make an entertaining movie with all these nutjobs. The movie goes off the deep end in surprisingly cohesive fashion, and if you're slightly warped you'll feel as if you're catching up with an old friend while watching it. Loved this movie. Cloud Atlas was brilliant and highly underrated. Looper had Joseph Gordon-Levitt wearing Bruce Willis' face. It's maybe the coolest Sci-Fi action movie since Blade Runner. Django is Tarantino doing what he does best. A deliberately paced, excellently eloquent story with superb acting. Still, the second time I watched it I got kind of bored. Great movie, but it doesn't have the repeatability I'm used to from Tarantino films. Also the end felt prolonged and anticlimactic. Robot and Frank has heart, brains and beauty. In my top 5, and severely unappreciated. Might not appeal to younger audiences. It's set in the future, and is probably easier to relate to for people born in the late '70s and early '80s. When Scream came out in the '90s in turned the horror genre upside down and shook out all its secrets while entertainingly using them against themselves. Cabin in the Woods did the same thing in 2012, but in a much more glamorous/humorous way and in a different horror sub-genre. It made light of itself while taking itself serious, and letting us in on the joke. I've never been a huge comic book fan. I liked The X-Men, Batman, and a lot of other characters comic books created, but I don't feel like I ever really felt that 'wow' factor for the mythology and cross referencing mystique that's behind them. Then I saw The Avengers and it made me feel like a little kid. The way they portrayed the characters. The smooth interlacing of all those superhero's stories and personalities was done beautifully. A lot of times with characters so grand, the storyteller tends to work their powers into the script in a manner that feels forced, or on purpose. Avengers avoided that mistake with nostalgia inducing results. Oh, and Silver Linings Playbook.

Still need to see Wreck-It-Ralph, Lincoln, Life of Pi, Hobbit, Spider Man, Beasts of Southern Wild, Les MeseriabIHSIDH, Flight, Chronicle, ParaNorman, Dredd, 21 Jump Street, Brave, Lawless, Men in Black III, Killing Them Softly and Mud.

nb4 not reading all that.

07-06-2013, 05:04 PM	#1
Void Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 221 Rep Power: 0	Best Movies of 2012 Yea, I know it's July 2013. Argo was overrated. Prometheus was underrated. The more time goes by, the more it seems like Dark Knight Rises was almost pointless to make. Batman Begins was decent, but mostly because of the promise of more and better Batman movies. Only The Dark Knight delivered. Ted was stupid, because I'm 30. Magic Mike was better than expected, but still a movie about a male stripper. The Hunger Games is a perfect example of advertising, and the way it tries to make a movie great before it's even come out. The action shots were worse than Cloverfield's camera work, but in a completely different genre. Now Jennifer Lawrence is trapped in this piece of shit trilogy that is looking like George Lucas' attempts at being political in Phantom Menace. Why not just remake 1984? The Master was pretentious dribble. The Andy Samberg vehicle, Celeste and Jesse Forever was better than those shitty Dane Cook movies, but equally forgettable. When's the last time a standup comic made good movies? Eddie Murphy? Tom Hanks? Jim Carrey? Adam Sandler? Anyone more recent? No one comes to mind, unless you include the whole Judd Apatow crowd, but that's more a credit to him than an actor. Trouble with the Curve had promise, but Justin Timberlake managed to come off dull, the pacing was droll and the story was mishandled. Skyfall was overrated. I almost walked out in the first act because it felt like I was watching a Naked Gun parody of an action movie. The Woman in Black was a classic, well told ghost story, but despite what I feel was a decent performance from Harry Potter, I think the movie would have benefited greatly with a different lead. Might be a semi-cult movie in 10 years. The Watch was so bad and absurd that I enjoyed it. Vince Vaughn has become a parody of himself. Hit and Run was fun. It was like Dax Shepard wrote himself into a role all typical 11 year old boys imagine themselves as. Tom Arnold was out of place and weird, but when isn't he? The Possession was like Hellraiser without the gore or Pinhead. It's like Jumanji/Constantine/-insert exorcism movie-. The Sessions was like a porn version of Forrest Gump, but where Lt. Dan is the lead character. Okay, much less amazing than that. I kind of want that movie made now. This is 40 was like Funny People, but with the characters from Knocked Up. End of Watch was like a really, really good episode of Cops. Zero Dark Thirty was too realistic. I appreciated the fact that they didn't do a lot of dramatization for a true story, but when your characters are doing manhunt legwork and paperwork, feeling like you're there isn't necessarily something you want. It's like getting to go home early from your job as a data processor and playing a video game where you process data. It's like a well acted/directed dramatization of investigating. Guess that was the point. Boring, though. The Impossible made me cry, and it was better than World Trade Center (The beginning of the end for Nick Coppola), or United 93 (Conspiracy). It came off as sort of a tribute for those who lived through the tsunami. I'm not on the Wes Anderson bandwagon, and Moonrise Kingdom didn't sway that decision. I get it. It's kind of quirky. Weird kids who like being weird like Wes Anderson. He's like Hot Topic. Fuck him, and fuck Bill Murry. Nah, it was okay. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of those movies that's your favorite when you're 16, but you realize doesn't resonate the same way later in life. It's like A Catcher in the Rye, minus being the assassin's companion. Sinister is almost cool, but it isn't. Mass hangings and murder by lawn mower. Ruby Sparks is Stranger Than Fiction with a really cute girl instead of Will Farrell, and an author with less fairytale morality. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is awesome. Safety Not Guaranteed is more awesomer, and has that really cute/weird girl from Parks and Recreation. Jack Reacher is basically Tom Cruise being cool. It's kind of annoying, because HE'S A JERK in what I perceive to be his real life, but this is kind of like his Knight & Day character, only less zany (Less Tom Cruise). It's like John McClain mixed with Jason Bourne. The Bourne Legacy surprised me, because generally a fourth installment in a franchise minus its lead character/actor is destined for $5 bargain bin. Jeremy Renner is actually pretty believable, and the way they meshed the story together with the previous films while beginning a new chapter was impressive. A Place Beyond the Pines is kind of hard to categorize, because the scope is so wide. The things we label people are never who they are, and it's exactly who they are. We're all capable of being the hero, or the criminal. It drives this point home in a very impartial way. The Grey places the symbolism of man in his once natural environment and asks whether or not he can still survive. If that man is Liam Neeson, he probably can. It's like The Edge, minus the angle of murder and with wolves instead of a bear. Oh, and Qui-Gon Jinn instead of Alec Baldwin. Seven Psychopaths is the feel good comedy of the year... if you're a blood thirsty nihilist. I thought of making this movie once, only mine was going to star Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Gary Busey, Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Nick Cage and Chris Walken. Sam Rockwell stealing Woody Harrelson's dog is about as elaborate a premise as one would need to make an entertaining movie with all these nutjobs. The movie goes off the deep end in surprisingly cohesive fashion, and if you're slightly warped you'll feel as if you're catching up with an old friend while watching it. Loved this movie. Cloud Atlas was brilliant and highly underrated. Looper had Joseph Gordon-Levitt wearing Bruce Willis' face. It's maybe the coolest Sci-Fi action movie since Blade Runner. Django is Tarantino doing what he does best. A deliberately paced, excellently eloquent story with superb acting. Still, the second time I watched it I got kind of bored. Great movie, but it doesn't have the repeatability I'm used to from Tarantino films. Also the end felt prolonged and anticlimactic. Robot and Frank has heart, brains and beauty. In my top 5, and severely unappreciated. Might not appeal to younger audiences. It's set in the future, and is probably easier to relate to for people born in the late '70s and early '80s. When Scream came out in the '90s in turned the horror genre upside down and shook out all its secrets while entertainingly using them against themselves. Cabin in the Woods did the same thing in 2012, but in a much more glamorous/humorous way and in a different horror sub-genre. It made light of itself while taking itself serious, and letting us in on the joke. I've never been a huge comic book fan. I liked The X-Men, Batman, and a lot of other characters comic books created, but I don't feel like I ever really felt that 'wow' factor for the mythology and cross referencing mystique that's behind them. Then I saw The Avengers and it made me feel like a little kid. The way they portrayed the characters. The smooth interlacing of all those superhero's stories and personalities was done beautifully. A lot of times with characters so grand, the storyteller tends to work their powers into the script in a manner that feels forced, or on purpose. Avengers avoided that mistake with nostalgia inducing results. Oh, and Silver Linings Playbook. Still need to see Wreck-It-Ralph, Lincoln, Life of Pi, Hobbit, Spider Man, Beasts of Southern Wild, Les MeseriabIHSIDH, Flight, Chronicle, ParaNorman, Dredd, 21 Jump Street, Brave, Lawless, Men in Black III, Killing Them Softly and Mud. nb4 not reading all that.