Deaf vs Blind rap battle

Pharaohs Army · 04-06-2023, 01:00 AM

Intro:
Really pumped by the beatz and punches.
Makes me want to write and comment.
==========================

You picked up steam at the 7-8 min mark, obviously.
"Ever fire a gun?"
Amazing 4 word opener--- it's an open question for the setup...sets up the RHYME (i believe u rhyme earlier (w/ a nice bendy rhyme /then continued rhyming it)

opponent
-lotta big-L 2 syllables (NOT KNOCKING it. But it's clear that you're using more multies and wordplay)
-dog "listening"
-treat a meal like a "side snack?"
-not silencer on the gun/ god did it
-pulley system for sucide/hang self lol
-wow futurama @end

Those are the highlights from him...

-beethoven "response" 88keys
-jackie robinson line lol careful, Lars might ask you if your rayczist
-obviously i'm a fan of the blackjack and holdem subject matter -- if he's a blackjack dealer nice research and material usage.
-eye open!
-lotta gun bars, of course it's battle rap... I thought some were better than others, will have to edit this later if I were to give you my opinions of the Bangers vs. more average.

==========
It is interesting that when you "speak normally" I can kind of tell you may be a bit hearing impared/partially deaf...but when "delivering" lines you sound "normal"...perhaps a fucntion of practice & discipline?

I do believe in THIS battle you repeated your openers just a bit too much...
In a hot battle with the crowd going NUTS I certainly appreciate repetition/ setups
However, this crowd (comparatively) was fairly restrained and I just thought you coulda repeated just a LITTLE less....I mean,
As I imagine you are mixing freestyle in with your bars, I'm sure the repetion helps you "get on track" for the Punch and get in "delivery-mode" for it to be better. I'm not saying abandon it; just use a little bit less (unless crowd is rowdy)...
I mean, the audience is probably high and drunk so the extra Setup Bar prolly helps them too... Just saying it is very noticable in this battle.

You certainly came with the agression
I noticed your opponent was a little bit more reserved in his delivery (UNTIL HIS FINAL) then he got louder and voice got slightly hoarse/raspy...

Anyway,
Just the sheer fact that a partially-deaf slightly overweight white dude holds his own in live battle arenas....It's a compliment dude.
Most would have been bumrushed out of the scene...but, all about the Writing right?
Your writing allows you to separate from the herd and overcome the demographics/disabilities I've mentioned above... Delivery too of course, but starts w. your writing.
===

I will await a line of feed from you on my OM "Good Girl" piece...audio track for that hopefully within a month.

~PA on "hiatus"
maybe that means 2-3 posts a week instead of 20-30.

04-06-2023, 01:00 AM	#3
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Intro: Really pumped by the beatz and punches. Makes me want to write and comment. ========================== You picked up steam at the 7-8 min mark, obviously. "Ever fire a gun?" Amazing 4 word opener--- it's an open question for the setup...sets up the RHYME (i believe u rhyme earlier (w/ a nice bendy rhyme /then continued rhyming it) opponent -lotta big-L 2 syllables (NOT KNOCKING it. But it's clear that you're using more multies and wordplay) -dog "listening" -treat a meal like a "side snack?" -not silencer on the gun/ god did it -pulley system for sucide/hang self lol -wow futurama @end Those are the highlights from him... -beethoven "response" 88keys -jackie robinson line lol careful, Lars might ask you if your rayczist -obviously i'm a fan of the blackjack and holdem subject matter -- if he's a blackjack dealer nice research and material usage. -eye open! -lotta gun bars, of course it's battle rap... I thought some were better than others, will have to edit this later if I were to give you my opinions of the Bangers vs. more average. ========== It is interesting that when you "speak normally" I can kind of tell you may be a bit hearing impared/partially deaf...but when "delivering" lines you sound "normal"...perhaps a fucntion of practice & discipline? I do believe in THIS battle you repeated your openers just a bit too much... In a hot battle with the crowd going NUTS I certainly appreciate repetition/ setups However, this crowd (comparatively) was fairly restrained and I just thought you coulda repeated just a LITTLE less....I mean, As I imagine you are mixing freestyle in with your bars, I'm sure the repetion helps you "get on track" for the Punch and get in "delivery-mode" for it to be better. I'm not saying abandon it; just use a little bit less (unless crowd is rowdy)... I mean, the audience is probably high and drunk so the extra Setup Bar prolly helps them too... Just saying it is very noticable in this battle. You certainly came with the agression I noticed your opponent was a little bit more reserved in his delivery (UNTIL HIS FINAL) then he got louder and voice got slightly hoarse/raspy... Anyway, Just the sheer fact that a partially-deaf slightly overweight white dude holds his own in live battle arenas....It's a compliment dude. Most would have been bumrushed out of the scene...but, all about the Writing right? Your writing allows you to separate from the herd and overcome the demographics/disabilities I've mentioned above... Delivery too of course, but starts w. your writing. === I will await a line of feed from you on my OM "Good Girl" piece...audio track for that hopefully within a month. ~PA on "hiatus" maybe that means 2-3 posts a week instead of 20-30.