Unloved

Saint · 02-26-2023, 11:39 AM

rough. raw take.. will expand

The death of an unbelievably kind and sweet girl who took her life inspired this. She suffered inexplicable pain in her childhood from abuse & even made attempts since she was 12 to end her life. She was indescribably loving in her life and cared for animals even saving the sick, diseased and most would deem unloveable ones who'd get passed over. Also had bipolar. I write this teary eyed reminiscing. Sorry if it's not great it was done quick..

I heard cursing before I could walk..
swhy i'm stuttering, muddling thoughts
Is this wrong? Is something my fault?
reality comes to a halt..
kids would tell me "whered you learn how to talk'
try mouthing words in the dark
alone. hands on my lap in my place
the first contact I made was dad in my face
but wasnt to make me laugh for a taste...
the crib rattled. i shake. hes mad in this space
I feel shackled, cant handle the cage.
& years later people wondering why I'm not acting my age
picture this: terrible twos, home is abuse
was a gamble to see which parent would hold me more loose
noone to change me, nothing to view
except a crack in the wall bringing the scent of cigarette smoke in the room.
help, im choking on fumes
my life for a monitor and air circulating w/ potent perfume
by dusk it came. all i hear is drunken rage
I can't process the fear, I'm too young to pray
mom hiding in the car
that's where she goes if she feels just unsafe
suicide note in the glove, gun from the case
NO. pump the brakes
It's not worth the lack of bdays, hugs and cake
she says he's stuck in his ways..
it's a shout match, yaknow.. one of those days
washed into my memory. sunk in like stains
Now
talk about scare rooms. mom jumps afraid
The house is lit, nowhere left to go & just escape
I'm so ready to cut these plates like busted chains
to force a fucking growth spurt so I can run away
Pops i wish for death cuz you're hating me now..
I'm what grows up to be that guy who blows his brains in a crowd
on the news, jaws dropped, everyone racing around
just put my last tape out. surrounding the bits of me placed on the ground
U broken my spirit. God recalled it straight to the cloud.
Maybe then.. i can finally go out and start making you proud

RIP Brittney D Mitchell
2015

02-26-2023, 11:39 AM	#1
Saint Scream Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 3,251 Battle Record: 63-35 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Picture Roast - Battle Royale Tournament - NBL Pic Roast - Netcees Battle League - NBL Season 11 - HoT Roast - BAL Roast - Tag Team Tourney - NBL Barcotic Cypher - SOL Pic Roast - BA Tag - XXXtentacion Roast - 1-2 LR Champ Rep Power: 22535868	Unloved rough. raw take.. will expand The death of an unbelievably kind and sweet girl who took her life inspired this. She suffered inexplicable pain in her childhood from abuse & even made attempts since she was 12 to end her life. She was indescribably loving in her life and cared for animals even saving the sick, diseased and most would deem unloveable ones who'd get passed over. Also had bipolar. I write this teary eyed reminiscing. Sorry if it's not great it was done quick.. I heard cursing before I could walk.. swhy i'm stuttering, muddling thoughts Is this wrong? Is something my fault? reality comes to a halt.. kids would tell me "whered you learn how to talk' try mouthing words in the dark alone. hands on my lap in my place the first contact I made was dad in my face but wasnt to make me laugh for a taste... the crib rattled. i shake. hes mad in this space I feel shackled, cant handle the cage. & years later people wondering why I'm not acting my age picture this: terrible twos, home is abuse was a gamble to see which parent would hold me more loose noone to change me, nothing to view except a crack in the wall bringing the scent of cigarette smoke in the room. help, im choking on fumes my life for a monitor and air circulating w/ potent perfume by dusk it came. all i hear is drunken rage I can't process the fear, I'm too young to pray mom hiding in the car that's where she goes if she feels just unsafe suicide note in the glove, gun from the case NO. pump the brakes It's not worth the lack of bdays, hugs and cake she says he's stuck in his ways.. it's a shout match, yaknow.. one of those days washed into my memory. sunk in like stains Now talk about scare rooms. mom jumps afraid The house is lit, nowhere left to go & just escape I'm so ready to cut these plates like busted chains to force a fucking growth spurt so I can run away Pops i wish for death cuz you're hating me now.. I'm what grows up to be that guy who blows his brains in a crowd on the news, jaws dropped, everyone racing around just put my last tape out. surrounding the bits of me placed on the ground U broken my spirit. God recalled it straight to the cloud. Maybe then.. i can finally go out and start making you proud RIP Brittney D Mitchell 2015 __________________ Last edited by Saint; 03-03-2023 at 01:15 AM.