03-17-2020, 05:03 PM | #1 | |||||||||||
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
PPV Hype Mag 1 feat. Amen
We at it again. ITT I'll be announcing some matches you already know are coming, some you didn't know with some shit in between. First: Confirmed: Flow vs Killing Spree (Pics) These two mainstays of contemporary text were already looking for a friendly spar, but were good enough to put it off for the event. First and foremost, look for a funny ass pic from Spree. I gotta respect the guy who gives his opponent that ammo and Flow isn't the kind of battler to let it go to waste. I missed his pic battle renaissance but I know he had a solid streak during the Hot or Thot tourney. To anyone like me, this is Flow's chance to show off why he should be considered a threat. Look for some jokes here. Confirmed: Adverse vs Inno This might be the most surprising match of the undercard. Both of these guys have been making a waves lately. Inno, against all odds, took and held a 1-2 title, while Adverse has spent the season going from nothing to finding his footing, bar at a time. Both of them have their own styles that are taking form and there's a ton of potential here. Inno needs to be funny without being corny, Adverse needs to be harsh without being wordy, and if the two can do that we're looking at absolute flames. Now a message to the doubters in the form of highlights from last year: PPV 2019 Highlights No particular order: Quote:
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Next, some previews of Card two Confirmed: Inf vs Cred (gunbars) If Cred doesn't no-show and Inf doesn't do anything stupid, this is a banger. I feel like these are two guys with influential styles. Inf can flip damn near anything into a bar... Botswana.... and Cred spent years being crucified for gunbars. At the same time, they've really both perfected their approach to battling and if they both show, it's a battle to remember. Confirmed: Sharp vs Seth It just isn't text without nerdy white guys rapping gun bars at each other. Seth's a heel for sure, but he can write a bar when he needs to. With the trend in text being 'if you're the first person to flip a word, it's a dope bar', this might just be the kick in the ass it needs. I plan on doing my part to heat up the undercard. Hope you can keep up, Seth. pussy A Day in the Life of Amen, CEO Amen Enterprises Quote:
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5:35: Become CEO of Fortune 500 morning shit, wiped with exactly 12 squares of 2-ply tp. 5:45: Become CEO of Fortune 500 breakfast. Prepared by himself the Sunday before for efficiency's sake. Originally, he had attempted to delegate this task to his wife, who told him 'IF this was a Fortune 500 company Dre we'd have a fucking Yacht. Make your own fucking breakfast.' 6:00: Become CEO of Fortune 500 Toothbrush and brush teeth. Manage toothbrush like mouth is a Fortune 500 company: each tooth is cleaned proportionally to the amount of work it does. Dre's left second molars haven't been brushed in two years (they need to earn it). 6:30: Become CEO of Fortune 500 car on the commute to Government Job 7:00: Become CEO of Fortune 500 park job. Do not, under any circumstances, back out to correct parking. When your tire is on or over the line, you are innovating and the rest of the world needs to catch up to you. 7:30: Become CEO of Fortune 500 Text Discussion board thread and tell those pussies that they're pussies. to be continued in the next Fortune 500 PPV hype mag Until next time, when I'm confirming more, hopefully (possibly) featuring the likes of: @Sinacog @Destroyer @FGR @Hush @Blue Bayou @SMaSH @Eviscerate @sraL @Ouch @ORC @Machete Jo @Pen Prick |
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