So As...

UnbornBuddha · 04-08-2019, 04:38 AM

The beginning stanza made me chuckle, it was amusing and a good introductory way to go about it. The flow of this reminds me of some early Jedi mind tricks thing, sort of adaptation of the aggressive flow, but without the biblical laden metaphors. Battle rap almost, but in an old school kind of stylistic flavor. I liked the internals, but I suppose the multisyllabic rhyming could be more advanced schematically, it usually brings more pizzazz to this type of writing.

Thanks for the read.

04-08-2019, 04:38 AM	#5
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	The beginning stanza made me chuckle, it was amusing and a good introductory way to go about it. The flow of this reminds me of some early Jedi mind tricks thing, sort of adaptation of the aggressive flow, but without the biblical laden metaphors. Battle rap almost, but in an old school kind of stylistic flavor. I liked the internals, but I suppose the multisyllabic rhyming could be more advanced schematically, it usually brings more pizzazz to this type of writing. Thanks for the read.