Week III:Symetrik vs Pent uP[SYM WINS]- OPEN FOR FEED

MMLP · 12-31-2017, 11:15 AM

Sym - i lked this verse, made this worth the effort. shame Pent no showed however I feel even he would have struggled against this. Nitpicking first off though, I didn't like the cobble walk/ top opening line, it felt out of place but as the flow swept the story from there it became plausible and you entered this realm of thought where you created a world around the picture and rays commendable. The topic developed at a decent pace, the characters were a little underdeveloped tho, thinking about it but that seems a lil harsh maybe. But the settings were there and it's essentially your flow that carried this throughout for me, that was the biggest highlight for me., I ALWAYS appreciate a twist n realise they are so hard to pull off, it was good enough to close things out well and round them up nicely. Good to see there r still active writers, didnt expect such a low turnout but it was xmas tbf. Shame this piece was tested competitively.

12-31-2017, 11:15 AM	#9
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 614 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768091	Sym - i lked this verse, made this worth the effort. shame Pent no showed however I feel even he would have struggled against this. Nitpicking first off though, I didn't like the cobble walk/ top opening line, it felt out of place but as the flow swept the story from there it became plausible and you entered this realm of thought where you created a world around the picture and rays commendable. The topic developed at a decent pace, the characters were a little underdeveloped tho, thinking about it but that seems a lil harsh maybe. But the settings were there and it's essentially your flow that carried this throughout for me, that was the biggest highlight for me., I ALWAYS appreciate a twist n realise they are so hard to pull off, it was good enough to close things out well and round them up nicely. Good to see there r still active writers, didnt expect such a low turnout but it was xmas tbf. Shame this piece was tested competitively.