Week III:Symetrik vs Pent uP[SYM WINS]- OPEN FOR FEED

Diablo · 12-30-2017, 03:56 PM

I figured I'd reply too seeing as I read it. This was probably your best showing thus far, it was easily your most "complete" feeling and well-rounded. The flow to it is your best angle/strength and you played to that well. The actual storyline seemed to get a little confusing, to the reader, and it could have used some more clarity as to why Death was lost etc maybe more character build up as to what events lead to him being there etc to give the story more impetus and drive to proceedings. What worked well here was the narrative tone to the writers voice, everything was in-keeping thematically (even if sometimes the wording came off a little awkward because of it). I too saw the ending coming, but it was still a pretty cool read all in all.

12-30-2017, 03:56 PM	#7
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,634 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685552	I figured I'd reply too seeing as I read it. This was probably your best showing thus far, it was easily your most "complete" feeling and well-rounded. The flow to it is your best angle/strength and you played to that well. The actual storyline seemed to get a little confusing, to the reader, and it could have used some more clarity as to why Death was lost etc maybe more character build up as to what events lead to him being there etc to give the story more impetus and drive to proceedings. What worked well here was the narrative tone to the writers voice, everything was in-keeping thematically (even if sometimes the wording came off a little awkward because of it). I too saw the ending coming, but it was still a pretty cool read all in all.