ELITE EIGHT: Certain vs. Frank - OPEN FOR VOTES!

UnbornBuddha · 09-17-2016, 10:39 PM

Certain: You used a similar narrative sketch in your one of your last AOWL bouts. The way characters are introduced, the subpar rhyming, and the lack of interesting phrasing leads to a lackluster presentation. The fluidity of your transitions is always really exemplary, but even the overarching theme here was riddled with banalities, especially in the last stanza where the series of questions themselves presented nothing that really led to any reflective deliberation that will lead to an insight on a perspective I haven't been presented with. I quite liked the ending phrase, I have to say, but generally it lacked vivacity.

Frank: I found this more amusing than your adversary. It did get a bit preposterous at certain junctions. And as the other astute commentator so elegantly pointed out, your misuse of certain words leads to awkward readings. That cause the reader to stop and scratch their head to what you are are talking about. Clarity is an area where your opponents excels in, but storytelling is where you excel at. In the end, I found your story more amusing and had some more interesting descriptions. The biblical take was quite an obvious take, but the way you presented it appealed to my tastes more.

Vote: Frank

09-17-2016, 10:39 PM	#5
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	Certain: You used a similar narrative sketch in your one of your last AOWL bouts. The way characters are introduced, the subpar rhyming, and the lack of interesting phrasing leads to a lackluster presentation. The fluidity of your transitions is always really exemplary, but even the overarching theme here was riddled with banalities, especially in the last stanza where the series of questions themselves presented nothing that really led to any reflective deliberation that will lead to an insight on a perspective I haven't been presented with. I quite liked the ending phrase, I have to say, but generally it lacked vivacity. Frank: I found this more amusing than your adversary. It did get a bit preposterous at certain junctions. And as the other astute commentator so elegantly pointed out, your misuse of certain words leads to awkward readings. That cause the reader to stop and scratch their head to what you are are talking about. Clarity is an area where your opponents excels in, but storytelling is where you excel at. In the end, I found your story more amusing and had some more interesting descriptions. The biblical take was quite an obvious take, but the way you presented it appealed to my tastes more. Vote: Frank