King Karaoke vs Schadenfruede - Karaoke wins.

Certain · 09-14-2016, 08:23 PM

Karaoke: This verse felt overtly by-the-book. You started with two timely Netcees.co references, transitioned into three pop-culture punches, threw in two outright bad lines and closed with a gun bar. The segmentation of these phases made the verse feel fractured. Your opener and closer were the funniest lines. The STI one felt a little too easy (that’s the reason he chose the name), as did the Cam Newton one. The Saint Pablo tour line might have been the strongest line from the middle. You keep a consistent voice through your verses, which I like, but this time, it felt a little matter-of-fact and almost bored. This was OK, but it was nowhere near your top caliber.

Schadenfreude: There were elements of this verse that were good. Your flow was mostly fine, though there were times where you forced an extra rhyme in that clunked things up instead of smoothing it out. The opener was a good tone-setter. Still, I don’t even know what to make of including both a mediocre karaoke bar and a mediocre “hi and bye” line in a tournament semifinals verse against Karaoke. He’s been battling under that name and using that gimmick for more than a decade. The Karpet line almost worked, but the wording really made it awkward. There’s a good example of an instance where you jammed an internal rhyme in for no reason and it fucked up the whole line. The butterfly knife line was incredibly lazy. Nothing really landed.

Vote: Karaoke

09-14-2016, 08:23 PM	#10
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Karaoke: This verse felt overtly by-the-book. You started with two timely Netcees.co references, transitioned into three pop-culture punches, threw in two outright bad lines and closed with a gun bar. The segmentation of these phases made the verse feel fractured. Your opener and closer were the funniest lines. The STI one felt a little too easy (that’s the reason he chose the name), as did the Cam Newton one. The Saint Pablo tour line might have been the strongest line from the middle. You keep a consistent voice through your verses, which I like, but this time, it felt a little matter-of-fact and almost bored. This was OK, but it was nowhere near your top caliber. Schadenfreude: There were elements of this verse that were good. Your flow was mostly fine, though there were times where you forced an extra rhyme in that clunked things up instead of smoothing it out. The opener was a good tone-setter. Still, I don’t even know what to make of including both a mediocre karaoke bar and a mediocre “hi and bye” line in a tournament semifinals verse against Karaoke. He’s been battling under that name and using that gimmick for more than a decade. The Karpet line almost worked, but the wording really made it awkward. There’s a good example of an instance where you jammed an internal rhyme in for no reason and it fucked up the whole line. The butterfly knife line was incredibly lazy. Nothing really landed. Vote: Karaoke __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.