Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > The Netcees archive > AOWL Season 6 Archive
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 05-26-2016, 12:51 PM   #7
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349682
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

Art, I enjoyed the piece up until bright & intense
it just sounds funny to me & didn't work with picket fence
regardless I thought the imagine it/avarice rhyme was cool
the rest of it begins to make sense by the time you're through
the emotion has more impact on a second read for me.
in the end though you weave quite an incredible story.
a few slip ups here & there but you make up for it by the end
nice work my friend.

Razah, this was really well done, perhaps my favorite of yours
the way you craft your flow basically allows it to take its course.
once you get into the mold you start to weave a nice ending in.
also a more original take on flipping your topic & blending it in.
I cant really find much to complain about...


v/Razah, I thought he came correct this time around.
he had a cohesive piece & put some nice rhyming down.
hardly a hiccup when I got finished, the story was well done
about halfway through Arts piece it almost felt rushed...
I cant get the picket fence out of my head cause it came after a good line.
otherwise I felt if he chopped that are made it work with another line...idk
maybe he would have fared better..
dope battle either way...
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline  
 


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+