THE ROAST OF KOTIKO

[Allen Knight]

Originally Posted by Batty

Thought he could lose his virginity if he could just make it to the semi-finals of Ecuador's equivalent of slumdog millionaire.

lookin like Sully from Monster's Inc with Bells Palsy

Had to file a claim to get his money back from eBay when the John Travolta scented buttplug he used BUY-IT-NOW on never showed up.

Actually started doing the Moonwalk when he heard about McDonald's all-day-breakfast announcement.

looking like a secret agent for 5 Guys Burgers

He keeps Ziploc bags full of mongoose turds to do Warlock rituals with on any given sunday.

Had his beard lined-up with Xena's flying disc

Went to a Halloween party as Pablo Escobar w/ type 2 diabetes. He was the only one there.

Jacks off in the shower so much that he gets pre-cum watching Waterworld.

Prints out pics of anime girls and skeets onto them on a vlog he created called: MANLY MANATEE'S DESPERATION HAPPY FUNTIME VIDEO HOUR.

Could not grow a natural beard, so he sent a money order in the amount of $17.95 for panther pubes he could spirit glue to his face.

lookin like a retired eskimo and shit

lookin like a native American gargoyle house sitter

lookin like Baloo from Jungle Book with epilepsy

done at the water world line lmaooooo.