YDK 3-2 vs. NYCSPITZ 2-1 - NYC 4-0

Razah · 09-30-2015, 04:51 PM

Hmm. I liked how YDK ended his verse. Short & sweet. The alliteration was pretty cool, and you kept a solid rhyme scheme through out. It also feels rushed. Kind of like you just wrote something quick to end up not no-showing. Either way, I rather see a battle then have another no show in the league.

NYC- The story on this was pretty cool. It was simple lines that brought forth so much more to me. Simple shit, like the slap boxing- Like yeahh, I remember being on that shit. Stuff like that made it stand out to me, I guess it made it able for me to relate. The rhyming was cool, nothing really too impressive but solid nonetheless. The only issues I had was the wording of certain things, to make 'em rhyme like:

"AND DON'T LEAVE OPEN THE DOOR"

"as the boy fell from floor twelve"

It just came out weird. I wouldn't say that shit like that, and I felt like you just did it to keep the rhyming going, and throw an internal in there.

So, yeah. I feel like YDK's verse was rushed and I felt like he could've won if he had gone a little longer. NYC's verse was cool, the story of it made it better for me. Im'a have to vote for him.

v-NYCSPITZ

09-30-2015, 04:51 PM	#9
Razah rockkFresh Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Chicago. Posts: 1,088 Battle Record: 8-10 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 11328545	Hmm. I liked how YDK ended his verse. Short & sweet. The alliteration was pretty cool, and you kept a solid rhyme scheme through out. It also feels rushed. Kind of like you just wrote something quick to end up not no-showing. Either way, I rather see a battle then have another no show in the league. NYC- The story on this was pretty cool. It was simple lines that brought forth so much more to me. Simple shit, like the slap boxing- Like yeahh, I remember being on that shit. Stuff like that made it stand out to me, I guess it made it able for me to relate. The rhyming was cool, nothing really too impressive but solid nonetheless. The only issues I had was the wording of certain things, to make 'em rhyme like: "AND DON'T LEAVE OPEN THE DOOR" "as the boy fell from floor twelve" It just came out weird. I wouldn't say that shit like that, and I felt like you just did it to keep the rhyming going, and throw an internal in there. So, yeah. I feel like YDK's verse was rushed and I felt like he could've won if he had gone a little longer. NYC's verse was cool, the story of it made it better for me. Im'a have to vote for him. v-NYCSPITZ