Insanity

oats · 09-20-2015, 07:24 AM

@Bags only time sticking shit in your bunghole is gay is when it's a male body part. rodents borderline tho.

what you do is, you blend a thick, viscous protein shake. like 80% powder, 20% whole milk. lay flat on your back. place a bucket on a shelf above you. now this is no ordinary bucket. it's a buttbucket, so there's a hose attached to it at the bottom, and on the hose is a clamp to let it flow or stop it. the trick is, you let it FLOW. right on in there. think happy thoughts, and make the smoothie warmer than room temp by a bit. count to 100. sing my heart will go on front to back, and during musical bridges, exhale slowly and heavily while flexing your abs. if you're advanced, throw in a kegel or two along the way. flex like you're holding in a fart. once it's all been vacuumed into your anoose, wait. you'll want to shit, but don't. it needs to absorb. just breathe slowly and think happy thoughts, read The Economist while you wait. after 30 minutes you can shit, since all the protein has been absorbed and everything else was not wanted by your body/butthole.

do this after every rigorous workout, or just for a good time on a tuesday night in.

09-20-2015, 07:24 AM	#26
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	@Bags only time sticking shit in your bunghole is gay is when it's a male body part. rodents borderline tho. what you do is, you blend a thick, viscous protein shake. like 80% powder, 20% whole milk. lay flat on your back. place a bucket on a shelf above you. now this is no ordinary bucket. it's a buttbucket, so there's a hose attached to it at the bottom, and on the hose is a clamp to let it flow or stop it. the trick is, you let it FLOW. right on in there. think happy thoughts, and make the smoothie warmer than room temp by a bit. count to 100. sing my heart will go on front to back, and during musical bridges, exhale slowly and heavily while flexing your abs. if you're advanced, throw in a kegel or two along the way. flex like you're holding in a fart. once it's all been vacuumed into your anoose, wait. you'll want to shit, but don't. it needs to absorb. just breathe slowly and think happy thoughts, read The Economist while you wait. after 30 minutes you can shit, since all the protein has been absorbed and everything else was not wanted by your body/butthole. do this after every rigorous workout, or just for a good time on a tuesday night in. __________________ You should be water