AOWL Week 10: Adonis (4-2) VS. ZeeDee (3-2) [ZEEDEE WINS, 7-0.]

Cereal_Killa · 04-26-2013, 08:33 AM

Adon:

this was cool man.. I’ve been thinking on covering a verse somewhat like this and truthfully I enjoyed what you did with it.. good use of the topic.. ok so to me your wordplay though comical, was dry, sarcastic almost sickening as if the writer knew whole heartedly what he was doing was wrong.. but makes this convoluted joint of limericks about it to get by.. to me he is a solider within war lying at night in his bunk trying to laugh off his own regrets.. Man vocab was cool, structure – rhythm all cool.. dope piece dude :)

Zee:

You got imagery out the arse my friend.. that ish is insane.. wow holy shit, your structure as far as syllable counts and what not.. you didn’t miss a beat, shit you flowed this like a monster.. vocab was hot too.. most lines hit for me, then there were some that done punched me square in the face lol.. closing bar was amazing.. nice drop..

Vote = zeedee

To me it wasn’t zee’s flawless structure that won this, its kinda like putting the film direction of “citizen kane” against “full metal jacket” one has to be sketchy and raw whilst the other seamlessly smooth.. due to characters and the voice of those characters.. which you both unbelievably suited your character..
What swayed me on this was simply zeedee final bar, it was a direct hit that no reader could duck or run from.. Its just BAM.. and I loved that.. dope match guys, you boys killed it..

04-26-2013, 08:33 AM	#12
Cereal_Killa Licking Lily's.. Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 706 Battle Record: 11-6 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3565733	Adon: this was cool man.. I’ve been thinking on covering a verse somewhat like this and truthfully I enjoyed what you did with it.. good use of the topic.. ok so to me your wordplay though comical, was dry, sarcastic almost sickening as if the writer knew whole heartedly what he was doing was wrong.. but makes this convoluted joint of limericks about it to get by.. to me he is a solider within war lying at night in his bunk trying to laugh off his own regrets.. Man vocab was cool, structure – rhythm all cool.. dope piece dude :) Zee: You got imagery out the arse my friend.. that ish is insane.. wow holy shit, your structure as far as syllable counts and what not.. you didn’t miss a beat, shit you flowed this like a monster.. vocab was hot too.. most lines hit for me, then there were some that done punched me square in the face lol.. closing bar was amazing.. nice drop.. Vote = zeedee To me it wasn’t zee’s flawless structure that won this, its kinda like putting the film direction of “citizen kane” against “full metal jacket” one has to be sketchy and raw whilst the other seamlessly smooth.. due to characters and the voice of those characters.. which you both unbelievably suited your character.. What swayed me on this was simply zeedee final bar, it was a direct hit that no reader could duck or run from.. Its just BAM.. and I loved that.. dope match guys, you boys killed it.. __________________ You think YOU'RE sick I shit cough drops ..