Dear Diary Collective. Pt1 (FT: YDK - Mr. J. & Pent uP)

[Geno]

YDK..
12/02/14 Entry 1.
My mood is resigned while I'm chasing you blind
Erasing mistakes or refusing their mine?
Its too soon to tell, yet its been well designed
A bittersweet mixture between hell and my mind.
I tell them I'm fine when I'm asked by my family
But they can't understand the sheer weight of insanity.
Can it be said so candidly? Dead
I'm the monster hiding under the canopy bed.
The sheep in wolves clothing while calamity spreads,
That knew what was written before it was planned to be read.
I try to bear others burdens but they're handing me lead,
Lift this weight from my shoulders God! He abandoned me; fled.
Drowning in dispair, a man at sea with no life raft
So I fight to survive unsure of the right path.
Dear diary,
I just wish that you could write back

Genocide..
12/03/14 Entry 2.
at the library at the moment, as you know its hard for the kid
heart in a million pieces, and women want no parts of the shit
my lifes parked in a ditch, flipped, i need a jump-start and a lift
trying to fix shit before its too late, and realizing that it already is
expression on her face says it all, i bet shes calling it quits
ain't gotta talk, saw all the hints, clenched up, balling her fists
doesnt matter who's fault this all really is, im already pissed
ripped, about to kill each other n' forfeit our kids guardianship
the bitch says i blow smoke up her ass, and im hardly the shit
if you cant take the cig, what you doin with a whole carton of it
i mean, pardon my french, but your fucking ass is lazy as hell
plus, your bipolar as shit, and you never try explaining yourself
got these fuckin prescription drugs in a safe, we'll sellem quick
she looked at me and said nigga, your a waste of inteligence
i fell in my seat, beat, so tired from the aggravation im facin'
stay bent out of shape, a contortionist, afraid im complacent

Mr. J..
12/04/2014 Entry 3.
Did I make the right choice? Or am I just tired of the noise
I'm spiraling in a void. Trying to make sense of what I enjoyed
I'm unemployed, pawning shit off just so I can chase my next high
not living a stressed life, its this life I'm living that Im stressed by
pack of menthols, a nicotine fit, and a budget that I try to double
Dice games & troubles revolving around the winnings I fumbled
correct it? Id love to! But I don't like this box that they keep me in
its no wonder why the art of writing is dead, its a bunch of comedians
they lack obedience, maybe that's why I could care less bout a title
threw out the manual and the license, rode the median with a smile
I'm the meaning of 'survival' so when you boys scout. just merit honor
I 'rose' to the occasion when the game couldn't breathe..Eric Garner

Genocide..
12/05/14Entry 4.
At home as i sit on the couch, pimpin it out
Shes bitchin, im thinkin my dicks gotta be as big as her mouth
A difference of opinion is the normal excuse
And im surrounded by assholes, who think majority rules
Now im sort of immune, to the blows and stupid displays
If you call this falling in love, then you show it in unusual ways
Moved in days ago, so im apartments and efficiency hunting
Broke, so im tryin arrange, that doesnt mean ive driven one -dummy
Living this bummy life, sacrifice, this bad predicaments real
When we eat out, its sandwiches smack in the midddle of fields
Has a prisoner feel to it, reclusive, laying low on the grid
And i havnt seen food in weeks when we open the fridge
Theres a total eclipse of emotions, it hits whenever we speak
Short conversation, silence, but arguments will never be brief
A passionate relief, sexy release, intercourse, fucking around..
Pulled my head out of my ass, its just stuck in the clouds

Pent uP..
12/06/14 Entry 5.
I get home and hand my lady a couple of aspirins.
She looks at me weird and finds trouble in askin'
"why?" I'm like: "Does your head hurt?"
"No"
"Then I best get work, hoe." She turned red and fled - furloughed.
Day to day I'm trying to find the rhythm of romance,
but end up fucking until its too difficult to hold hands.
So I'm swinging like Ol' Vance - shouts to the Fresh Prints.
I just want to be stuck between a couch and a temptress.
Instead I'm counting my pennies trying to save for the future -
Drowning out roommates with my favorite producers.
Slaving - it's gruesome; my hours don't permit a social life,
But I still grind my teeth anticipating what the totals like.
I'm trying to watch the game and I can hear hell comin'...
They say the best relationship's a blind wife and a deaf husband.
So I try not stress nothin' as long as my chest's pumpin'.
Tomorrows a new day and I gotta keep these legs runnin'