AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Frank (6-0) VS. zygote (5-1) [ZYGOTE WINS, 9-7.]

Pent uP · 04-10-2013, 11:04 PM

Zygote -- Man, I can honestly say I expected so much more from you. Nothing wrong with this verse except the concept is a bit...weak? empty? one dimensional? Dont know but it wasn't up to par with what I expected from you. The rhymes weren't as crisp or elaborate as I'm used to from you, the story wasn't as natural or relatable as I'm used to from you. The penmanship was all off in my opinion. It had its cool moments - toward the ending where the paperclip was like (paraphrased) "my only design is to ensure things are paperclips" that was dope -- the way you made him think but that, for a whole verse, wasn't very substantial of a verse IMO. I just dont have much else to say, im sorry.

Frank -- ROFL man that verse was dope, im not gonna lie. I mean it was simple, but thats what made it dope - partially. I mean there's not much to say here. You wrote the story and it progressed the way it was intended - you characterized and ran with the story in every way u were supposed to. I'm almost proud of you. I'm 90% sure this is recycled, but I can't prove it - and dont want to lol. Whatever it is, it was entertaining and I love the fact that it was aimed to be negative it was just HIS story good and bad and laid out in an enjoyable manner.

Overall -- I think the easy going tone of franks verse made his verse stand out more then the technical monster Zygote's verse tried to be. In the end though neither of those things matter to me. Frank broke the line limit - which isn't for me to judge. What is for me to judge is that he skewed the topic so much that he couldve dropped a recycled verse for all I know. I'M NOT SAYING HE DID BUT I'm saying his verse wasn't to topic and for that I gotta give the creative edge to Zy because his verse was directly on topic, and it was comical at that so

Zygote

04-10-2013, 11:04 PM	#22
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,499 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862275	Zygote -- Man, I can honestly say I expected so much more from you. Nothing wrong with this verse except the concept is a bit...weak? empty? one dimensional? Dont know but it wasn't up to par with what I expected from you. The rhymes weren't as crisp or elaborate as I'm used to from you, the story wasn't as natural or relatable as I'm used to from you. The penmanship was all off in my opinion. It had its cool moments - toward the ending where the paperclip was like (paraphrased) "my only design is to ensure things are paperclips" that was dope -- the way you made him think but that, for a whole verse, wasn't very substantial of a verse IMO. I just dont have much else to say, im sorry. Frank -- ROFL man that verse was dope, im not gonna lie. I mean it was simple, but thats what made it dope - partially. I mean there's not much to say here. You wrote the story and it progressed the way it was intended - you characterized and ran with the story in every way u were supposed to. I'm almost proud of you. I'm 90% sure this is recycled, but I can't prove it - and dont want to lol. Whatever it is, it was entertaining and I love the fact that it was aimed to be negative it was just HIS story good and bad and laid out in an enjoyable manner. Overall -- I think the easy going tone of franks verse made his verse stand out more then the technical monster Zygote's verse tried to be. In the end though neither of those things matter to me. Frank broke the line limit - which isn't for me to judge. What is for me to judge is that he skewed the topic so much that he couldve dropped a recycled verse for all I know. I'M NOT SAYING HE DID BUT I'm saying his verse wasn't to topic and for that I gotta give the creative edge to Zy because his verse was directly on topic, and it was comical at that so Zygote