Round 2: R. Pent uP vs. 6. Soulstice \\ Soulstice wins 5-3

Cormier · 09-07-2014, 02:19 PM

Soul- i like the writing. very smooth, a little different rhyme scheme at times, but the rhymes were always there, which is a nice little switch up in a 10 line verse. only hiccup i really saw was the last line with the interline rhyme of "won't forgive her" and "snow of the winter." not sure why you added the extra syllable with the word "the," but that's just a little nitpicking by me. it dripped with imagery and metaphors and clever wording. my biggest problem with the piece is i don't see a huge connection to the topic. kind of seems like that last line was just thrown in to tie the piece to the topic

Pent- interesting take on the topic. obviously it's a relatable topic on a website full of writers. i liked the play on the hot and cold, winter and summer idea. the "co-wrote by old ghosts" line was dope. i could be way off (wouldn't that be ironic), but what i get from this is it seems like you wrote a verse, most people didn't get the overall message and that upset you, but most people at least liked it and you learned to just live with that and take the positives. i'd be interested in seeing the verse and responses you talk about if you wouldn't mind sending the link in a pm.

Overall i think this comes down to soulstice had the better writing, but pent wrote the more relatable verse with a better take on the topic. in these battles it often comes down to personal preference unfortunately and in that regard i'm going to go with Pent. Soulstice, you wrote a very good verse though that would have beaten most of the other verses i've read this week (my own verse included).

VOTE= Pent

09-07-2014, 02:19 PM	#9
Cormier Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 16 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	Soul- i like the writing. very smooth, a little different rhyme scheme at times, but the rhymes were always there, which is a nice little switch up in a 10 line verse. only hiccup i really saw was the last line with the interline rhyme of "won't forgive her" and "snow of the winter." not sure why you added the extra syllable with the word "the," but that's just a little nitpicking by me. it dripped with imagery and metaphors and clever wording. my biggest problem with the piece is i don't see a huge connection to the topic. kind of seems like that last line was just thrown in to tie the piece to the topic Pent- interesting take on the topic. obviously it's a relatable topic on a website full of writers. i liked the play on the hot and cold, winter and summer idea. the "co-wrote by old ghosts" line was dope. i could be way off (wouldn't that be ironic), but what i get from this is it seems like you wrote a verse, most people didn't get the overall message and that upset you, but most people at least liked it and you learned to just live with that and take the positives. i'd be interested in seeing the verse and responses you talk about if you wouldn't mind sending the link in a pm. Overall i think this comes down to soulstice had the better writing, but pent wrote the more relatable verse with a better take on the topic. in these battles it often comes down to personal preference unfortunately and in that regard i'm going to go with Pent. Soulstice, you wrote a very good verse though that would have beaten most of the other verses i've read this week (my own verse included). VOTE= Pent