Week 9: 15. Adonis (3-5) vs. 16. dyedinthewool (1-2) \\ Adonis wins 7-2

d0ubt · 04-27-2014, 01:35 PM

adonis - you might not have much for a rhyme scheme, but you have shortened lines that keep within an attention span rather than some writers who have longer bars and some rhyme scheme, i would personally rather read something like this with less rhymes but shortened bars than something where there are rhymes but they are lost within long bars that drown out the rhymes and you can lose the entertainment value... i'm ranting way too much here i'm gonna shut the fuck about this, i was just bringing it up from your comments in the chat thread. anyways, i thought despite the lack of a rhyme scheme it still flowed well and was enjoyable to read. i enjoyed your diction, it was smooth, this piece was loaded with imagery, well done. i thought this was a good read.

dyedinthewool - this was a beautiful piece, lots of emotion and illustrated well with plenty of imagery. nice story telling, i really got into it. you didn't have a lot of rhymes, but i did enjoy the ones you sprinkled in, they were well done, gave some flavor to a good story filled with emotion. feels almost like a personal piece to me.

overall i just felt dyedinthewool outwrote adonis this week, they both came with good pieces that i enjoyed reading this week though.

dyedinthewool

04-27-2014, 01:35 PM	#6
d0ubt Member Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 72 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	adonis - you might not have much for a rhyme scheme, but you have shortened lines that keep within an attention span rather than some writers who have longer bars and some rhyme scheme, i would personally rather read something like this with less rhymes but shortened bars than something where there are rhymes but they are lost within long bars that drown out the rhymes and you can lose the entertainment value... i'm ranting way too much here i'm gonna shut the fuck about this, i was just bringing it up from your comments in the chat thread. anyways, i thought despite the lack of a rhyme scheme it still flowed well and was enjoyable to read. i enjoyed your diction, it was smooth, this piece was loaded with imagery, well done. i thought this was a good read. dyedinthewool - this was a beautiful piece, lots of emotion and illustrated well with plenty of imagery. nice story telling, i really got into it. you didn't have a lot of rhymes, but i did enjoy the ones you sprinkled in, they were well done, gave some flavor to a good story filled with emotion. feels almost like a personal piece to me. overall i just felt dyedinthewool outwrote adonis this week, they both came with good pieces that i enjoyed reading this week though. dyedinthewool