AOWL Week 5: Innovator (2-2) VS. King Keith (1-1) OPEN FOR VOTES!!!

Dove Dozer · 03-18-2013, 10:01 AM

Innovator - loved the poetic feel of this piece. I loved the showcase of colors line as well as the closing line. great vocab throughout your verse too. I wish you'd have spellchecked, cause it's interupting of the story when you gotta stop and me like wait... what? then re-read. overall though, I thought this was pretty dope. I look forward to seeing more from you in the league.

King Keith - This was good. I liked the direction you took with having a little snippet of each. flow was easy to follow, could have been tightened with some additional rhymes throughout, for the sake of mechanics I thought this a tad simplistic. But you carried the topic along nicely which means you succeeded overall. pretty nice, just add some complexity with internals I guess would be my only real advice.

V/ King Keith

03-18-2013, 10:01 AM	#12
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	Innovator - loved the poetic feel of this piece. I loved the showcase of colors line as well as the closing line. great vocab throughout your verse too. I wish you'd have spellchecked, cause it's interupting of the story when you gotta stop and me like wait... what? then re-read. overall though, I thought this was pretty dope. I look forward to seeing more from you in the league. King Keith - This was good. I liked the direction you took with having a little snippet of each. flow was easy to follow, could have been tightened with some additional rhymes throughout, for the sake of mechanics I thought this a tad simplistic. But you carried the topic along nicely which means you succeeded overall. pretty nice, just add some complexity with internals I guess would be my only real advice. V/ King Keith __________________