Semi-Finals Magazine

[Sn00p]

Semi-Finals Magazine

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'Sup. This is Sn00p with the second-to-last edition of the
Ultimate Writer I Magazine. To be honest, I'm not overly
motivated to write this Mag. It's just that too many people
fucked up this tourney by not caring. Some tutors didn't
do anything in the first place and the rest (minus @namix;
he is that dude) stopped caring after they saw a lot of
their tutees didn't do much.

But I will still do this Mag and you know why? Because we
actually had some people do something and put in work.
As mentioned before, namix was one of them. He's some-
one I'd definitely want to tutor again in a later iteration
of the Ultimate Writer. And then we had some people that
actually showed up whenever they had to and improved.
@Boredom, @Camp Bell, @Malachi and @Sharp Nine: This
Mag is mostly for y'all.

Well, enough of the complaining, let's look at last week:





Reviews


SiK vs. Malachi {Malachi wins by NS}
Malachi won with a noshow verse, but it was pretty obvi-
ous that his opponent was gonna noshow, seeing how he
hadn't logged in in weeks. Anyways, Malachi advances.

Genocide vs. Boredom {Boredom wins by NS}
I really don't understand why so many people in namix'
team ended up noshowing, seeing how he actually put in
a lot of work and really tried to help them. Pretty disap-
pointing. I don't know why, but Geno never dropped a
verse and Boredom got to the Semi-Finals unharmed.

@Camp Bell vs. @Flo Real {Camp Bell wins}
Since both actually cared enough to show up, I will
give both of you a detailed breakdown of your verses
so maybe that's an extra tiny bit of knowledge you've
gained from this tourney:

Flo Real
Im 3 steps up from you - unlike meth ill humour ya witta contribution
your 3 steps down from me - in skill, wins and fucking stages in evolution
^This is a decent concept as it has some hyperbolic humor. Most voters
though likewise. This was one of the more well-received lines of your verse.
In general, bars like this can get better with a stronger connection. Here,
there is not much that ties the 'steps' part to the 'evolution stages' part.
If you can make this connection stronger, this bar will hit a whole lot harder.

on the topic of 3's bitch look at yo loss count - you steppin upto flo?!
niggas won 3 matches but never once where it wasnt titled - CB wins by no show
^Continuing with the theme of threes is decent, but doesn't really make
your bar hit harder. Gimmicks like these aren't gonna win you battles, but
if they come naturally, then by all means leave them in your verse. The
concept here is very basic. You're basically saying "you won all your battles
by noshow" with no extra wit added in. This is a prime example of conceptual
expansion, a topic which namix has shared some very good thoughts on. So
instead of trying to repeat what's been said, I'll just quote his posts below.
Conceptual evolution is (as namix correctly noted) a topic that a lot of newer
txtcees can improve in. That's why most of you should read what namix has
to say below.

Your teams full of feelings So team Orc dont have a chance to champ
There's feeling sik, rayge, bordom an I have to face the one feelin camp
^This idea was good, but the execution is lacking technically. First of all,
never just rhyme one syllable. Seriously, just don't do it. It's never a good
look and it's really easy to avoid. If you're having troubles finding a rhyme,
go to http://www.rhymezone.com or a similar site as a last resort. But
you should be able to come up with at least two rhyming syllables on your
own. Also, try and avoid using a word more than once in the same bar.
In the setup, you could have said 'emotions' instead of 'feelings' without
any problems. The punchline could've been cleared up, too.
The voters thought similarly. Most felt that this bar had potential but
wasn't executed well enough to hit. If you had followed the simple advice
I gave above, and maybe cleaned the punch up, this would've been a
quotable for sure. A cleaned up punchline would read something like this:
team orc is ALL emotions. w/ that soft shit someone shoulda told 'em to stop
cuz feeling sik, rayge & boredom is already gay, but feeling camp is waaay over the top

You'll never have a big hit yo shit overplayed Yo concepts White noise
Nike tick yo loss to win ratio it lacks the frequency for that fight voice
^I see where you're going with this, but this was just so cluttered. It
just didn't hit because of that. Sometimes, you have to be simpler instead
of more complex to hit. Like, statements don't hit. So you have to add the
one layer of complexity to make it hit. But once you go beyond that, your
wording has to be really clean so everyone understands where you are go-
ing. If a bar needs explanation, it's usually too complex or not worded well
enough. This is one of these cases. Either make it simpler or try and help
the reader understand it. Especially punctuation can help a lot there.

Tweetin bout how he'll make it big but yo shit could be free n still Wont sell
I'll be a mod one day an tweeting this one time @banned camp I dropped this fucking bell
^It's the same with this. You should ask yourself: What is my concept?
In this case, it's probably the banned camp/bandcamp wordplay. So if
you know what your concept is, focus on that. And cut all the words
that aren't necessary to get your concept across. This was a good idea
that didn't hit because the wording was too cluttered and not focused.

"your existence is basic"- You do know startin beef with il-Nik is bad for your health?
Doesnt respect his elders but then hes biting lines that older then himself
^The problem with this line is that not respecting your elders does not
conflict with biting old lines. It's rather the opposite. So you should've
said "but it's no wonder u don't respect ur elders, constantly stealing
their lines" <-That's a rough flip, of course, but it makes more sense.
You should always make sure that your lines are logical, because other-
wise they do not hit. Apart from that, the concept is kinda basic.

your flow is shit your punches are weak your concepts are simply played
Ultimate writer? Bitch leave this shit to cats that actually have skill in this trade
^This is just lazy. Your concept is that he shouldn't join a tutor tourney
because he needs improvement? I bet you yourself can see why this does
not hit. You'd have to add a layer of complexity for this to be any good.

Camp Bell
you cant stomach puns as i savor this bountiful meal
wrote this with the bubble guts, im not playing, shit about to get real
^I don't know. This has no real concept. Like, how does saying
this hurt your opponent? <-That's a question you should always
ask yourself. And if the answer is "I don't know", you should not
use that concept. And I think that's the case here.

your not getting out of this deal, admit it then forfeit
i'm busting flo's, he was stumbling for gold BEFORE jennifer lawrence
^This is a solid concept. But why do you waste so much of your
space? The whole setup doesn't connect with the punch at all,
and the "i'm busting flo's" doesn't either. You only have that much
space in a bar, use it to relate to the punchline.

my whispering skills raw, it brings attention to war
but when somebody says real talk, its usually dismissed and ignored
^I don't get why saying real talk should be ignored. One would
think that real talk gets more attention than usual. But apart from
that, this is good. The setup ties to the talk part (albeit with some
weird word choices: "whispering skills"?). The punchline is focused
on the concept.

i'll stab this prick with a fork then your done bitch
if wayne get tears to come, wat brings ya spirit up, suckin dick for trukfit?
^This was decent. But what has the the setup to do with your
punchline? Again, use the space to have to help your punchline.
The punchline itself was alright. You could've flipped the wordplay
differently, but the way you did it was okay.

your not geared enough to compose trouble dude
no way this lame name wins, leaving the way he came in, flo with no W
^Again you're not using your setup. The "no way this lame name
wins" is a setup. And thus, it should be put in the setup. The con-
cept is solid, but the punchline could expanded a bit more. And
that would fit without problems if you put the setup in the setup.

your controlled and so gullible, its such a shame kid
Orc's pick just gift bagged a corpse quick, you was playing wit a saint nik
^This wasn't directed at your opponent. The St. Nick concept
could've been used better. Again, how does this hurt your oppo-
nent? Always try and go at them directly. Go for their throat.
Hurt them. And do that as directly as possible. This is one of
the cases where you aren't direct enough.

all i do is work on grave digs, this jerk is makeshift
if real recognized real, your worthless is a personal statement, not a nameflip
^Sounding like a broken record a bit, but your main issue seems to
be focus. What exactly is your concept here? Because I get where
you're going with this generally, but I do not see how you attack
your opponent with this. Try and work out your concept, flip it in a
way that attacks your opponent directly and then use all the space
you have in your words to bring that concept across.

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit harsh here, but I wanted to make sure
that it is really clear what my points are. So please take this as
constructive criticism and not as me hating on you.

In the end, Camp Bell won by KO. It was a lot closer than that
shows, though. But Camp won deservedly. Flo just had more
issues with his verse. I pointed out most above. If both of you
try and keep in mind what you were told here and by your tutors,
I can see you improve fast, though. Stay open-minded.


@Sharp Nine vs. @Witty {Sharp Nine wins}
This was actually a really good battle. I would've liked to see
you go more lines, because you were able to stay consistent
as hell going just 10 lines. That would've made the winner a
bit clearer too, maybe. Sharp ended up winning the battle, but
some voters gave it to Witty and rightfully so. I would probably
have voted for Sharp too, but Witty had a solid verse as well.

I don't think I need to give you a lot of advice anymore. You're
at that stage where experience is your best tutor. So all I can
say is keep at it. You can definitely make a splash soon.





Battle of the Week

Sharp Nine vs. Witty

Sharp Nine
chicks hate you, they go for this clever chap instead
ya girl fell for my 'pronounced wit'... so she never did that in bed
text is dying, but those drops say you never shoulda started
My verses are State of the Art, yours in a worse state than the art is
we're not fooled, ur gay posts in disc show you find fuckin guys plenty fun
Might as well come outWit... cause you're not not doing that to anyone
n you bump thrift shop? no way ur holdin tha win
already got my grandpa's style, those verses look older than him
guaranteed L, those shit jokes make us think this herb's retarded
you ain't got Sharp, Wit. But we knew that waaaay before this tourney started

vs.

Witty
I've already won, so when I buck - blast - see him run fast
Sharp Nine? Guns are for shooting, not stabbing....dumbass
He on split's dick, that's why split split, he friggin' hates him
This fag saw the name split 8, and took it as a sexual invitation
This wannabe Stan probably got a tattoo of Shady's name n shit
So is SN, Em? Nah, he just enjoys being chained and whipped
See bitch at this beef shit you're nothing..just a fan, a tourist
I told this boy to nail a chick, and he came back as a man...icurist
When it comes to battling, you suck...u shud never be in a bout again
We all know 9 times out of 10, we'll see Nine down for a count of ten



Sharp Nine gets the Verse of the Week too.