ROUND ONE: (16)Mr. J vs. (17)Witty - (WITTY WINS 6-2)

Nigma · 01-18-2014, 09:15 PM

Mister Jones. I really really liked your angle at this. An interesting and plausible account of a soldiers story. Unfortunately I feel your execution could have been better, about a 7/10, however the way you went at the target gives the verse a lot of strength. To me, the picture was a flash frame from the moments after the tragedies he went through, felt cool. Two snags in the flow throughout the verse and a some unnatural wording that could have been polished but overall a good take on the topic.

Witty, you sly fox. Technically sound verse, did a good job engaging and maintaining interest throughout the verse. You were attentive to the flow and there were no snags throughout, read very nicely. Predictable direction but done very well. The 'We pray for the meek' line was nice and I really enjoyed the closing stanza.

Prognosis, two satisfying verses, both of which had good relation to a very good topic picture. Both did the picture justice but one had less to criticise.

+1 Witty

01-18-2014, 09:15 PM	#7
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	Mister Jones. I really really liked your angle at this. An interesting and plausible account of a soldiers story. Unfortunately I feel your execution could have been better, about a 7/10, however the way you went at the target gives the verse a lot of strength. To me, the picture was a flash frame from the moments after the tragedies he went through, felt cool. Two snags in the flow throughout the verse and a some unnatural wording that could have been polished but overall a good take on the topic. Witty, you sly fox. Technically sound verse, did a good job engaging and maintaining interest throughout the verse. You were attentive to the flow and there were no snags throughout, read very nicely. Predictable direction but done very well. The 'We pray for the meek' line was nice and I really enjoyed the closing stanza. Prognosis, two satisfying verses, both of which had good relation to a very good topic picture. Both did the picture justice but one had less to criticise. +1 Witty __________________