There's Something Terribly Wrong Here...

Ink · 03-02-2013, 04:24 AM

I'm new here, but not new to writing... Here's something I wrote a few months back to get my foot in the door, I guess.

TOPIC: You walk into a bar and sit down. You order a drink and begin looking around the bar. After awhile you begin to notice something about the bar was wrong. Explain.

Clean, crisp, suit – a little scruff gives a man character
Bartender’s eyes on me, two finger raise brings her over
A slight smirk, wandering eyes to show I know she’s got it
Go ahead and flaunt it like a museum my eyes attended
“I’ll have a Gimlet, real lime juice… Gin, not vodka babe”
She winks and slinks away, her ass sashaying a wave
I may have made her night, but to me it’s another day
I just might take her away, an answer to what she prayed
Heh…
I see a slight shadow in the corner of my eye… ris
A slender bare wrist that froze my heart like an ice… pick
Me an’ her? We locked sights, I ain’t no locksmith
Toothpick slipped from my lips and hit the floor like a dance mix
Clear the throat and recollect myself… this is all me
Something says she’ll see through me with vision that’s omni
But never mind that, I smile and ask her what she’ll have
“Cosmopolitan,” confident and no games, I’m feelin that
Almond eyes, slightly tanned, bangs like a veil gracing her face
Perky lips like a sheath, pointed to accommodate a blade
That’s her tongue, yeah she stings, I can tell from her display
Low cut dress stops at her thighs with the edges slightly frayed
Damn…
The dim lighting wraps her body like a sheet of gold
I’m looking for the creases usually across the centerfolds
Bartender brings my drink and her Cosmopolitan too
I’m casting out my pheromones, tangled in her perfume
I close the distance by some inches, eyeing the menu prices
“Can you help me out? Girl, something’s wrong with that list
It’s been bothering me ever since you walked through the door
I see a lot of numbers up there, but… I don’t see yours”

03-02-2013, 04:24 AM	#1
Ink Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 329 Battle Record: 5-5 Rep Power: 60	There's Something Terribly Wrong Here... I'm new here, but not new to writing... Here's something I wrote a few months back to get my foot in the door, I guess. TOPIC: You walk into a bar and sit down. You order a drink and begin looking around the bar. After awhile you begin to notice something about the bar was wrong. Explain. Clean, crisp, suit – a little scruff gives a man character Bartender’s eyes on me, two finger raise brings her over A slight smirk, wandering eyes to show I know she’s got it Go ahead and flaunt it like a museum my eyes attended “I’ll have a Gimlet, real lime juice… Gin, not vodka babe” She winks and slinks away, her ass sashaying a wave I may have made her night, but to me it’s another day I just might take her away, an answer to what she prayed Heh… I see a slight shadow in the corner of my eye… ris A slender bare wrist that froze my heart like an ice… pick Me an’ her? We locked sights, I ain’t no locksmith Toothpick slipped from my lips and hit the floor like a dance mix Clear the throat and recollect myself… this is all me Something says she’ll see through me with vision that’s omni But never mind that, I smile and ask her what she’ll have “Cosmopolitan,” confident and no games, I’m feelin that Almond eyes, slightly tanned, bangs like a veil gracing her face Perky lips like a sheath, pointed to accommodate a blade That’s her tongue, yeah she stings, I can tell from her display Low cut dress stops at her thighs with the edges slightly frayed Damn… The dim lighting wraps her body like a sheet of gold I’m looking for the creases usually across the centerfolds Bartender brings my drink and her Cosmopolitan too I’m casting out my pheromones, tangled in her perfume I close the distance by some inches, eyeing the menu prices “Can you help me out? Girl, something’s wrong with that list It’s been bothering me ever since you walked through the door I see a lot of numbers up there, but… I don’t see yours”