the 5th room on the 10th floor of Lolo

Mr. J · 08-17-2013, 08:07 PM

The flow was on point, the word usage was on another level
kept in the same pace as some of the other writers around here
very smooth transitioning the imagery was off the hook as well
nice metaphorical usage as well, that beginner is really what sealed it
kept it moving nicely my dude...keep on writing

Watch this imagery when I tinker with your mind human
The water caresses your toes, so the sand’s of time loosen
You wouldn’t believe the nerve of the interwoven dimensional feat
The taxi driver’s last fare was a pregnant woman giving birth in the back seat
Sometimes red lights don’t matter, do you understand what I am trying to tell you?
I remember you, you forgot me, love and truth with no agenda to sell yo
^^^like that sand's of time line

08-17-2013, 08:07 PM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	The flow was on point, the word usage was on another level kept in the same pace as some of the other writers around here very smooth transitioning the imagery was off the hook as well nice metaphorical usage as well, that beginner is really what sealed it kept it moving nicely my dude...keep on writing Watch this imagery when I tinker with your mind human The water caresses your toes, so the sand’s of time loosen You wouldn’t believe the nerve of the interwoven dimensional feat The taxi driver’s last fare was a pregnant woman giving birth in the back seat Sometimes red lights don’t matter, do you understand what I am trying to tell you? I remember you, you forgot me, love and truth with no agenda to sell yo ^^^like that sand's of time line __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you