Dark Side Flow

Coup · 07-20-2013, 09:22 PM

lot's of different things going on by reason of the metaphors used...swimming with sharks, scarf a mountain, spit an island...that was nice...lost the tie in to the opening Roulette bet set up as you went in, .....at the end i see you created a broad picture

I say lost because you opened with " I rushed into Roulette..." then you abandoned the first person for some more figurative narrative subjectively...

i feel this is missing a few things...can decide what...imho

good drop

07-20-2013, 09:22 PM	#2
Coup Don't believe the hype Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 572 Battle Record: 4-5 Rep Power: 0	lot's of different things going on by reason of the metaphors used...swimming with sharks, scarf a mountain, spit an island...that was nice...lost the tie in to the opening Roulette bet set up as you went in, .....at the end i see you created a broad picture I say lost because you opened with " I rushed into Roulette..." then you abandoned the first person for some more figurative narrative subjectively... i feel this is missing a few things...can decide what...imho good drop