Team Alpha - Camp Bell & Lyfza Gamble

CopyPat · 09-10-2014, 09:56 PM

hahaha holy shit this flowed. good job fella's. I enjoyed it. camp had lots a good lines. the neigh bit got my, i liked the reference haha. gamble i thought u kept up with camp on this too so really impressive. only thing with urs was the ending was too abrupt., it needed one more line as it read like u ended on the 3rd line instead of the 4th.. if u know what i mean?? only criticism is that ur vocab was a little soft. the syllables rhyming were awesome but if you could add a little more complexity with your word choices it would be a lot doper. nonetheless a good entertaining read. stay up

09-10-2014, 09:56 PM	#5
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	hahaha holy shit this flowed. good job fella's. I enjoyed it. camp had lots a good lines. the neigh bit got my, i liked the reference haha. gamble i thought u kept up with camp on this too so really impressive. only thing with urs was the ending was too abrupt., it needed one more line as it read like u ended on the 3rd line instead of the 4th.. if u know what i mean?? only criticism is that ur vocab was a little soft. the syllables rhyming were awesome but if you could add a little more complexity with your word choices it would be a lot doper. nonetheless a good entertaining read. stay up __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

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