Recent Life Occurances and Decisions

[Rawn MD]

@uh-oh i 4got u in my mentions..i will amend u there...

but look this is directed at uh-oh, @Innovator and others

my rationale is simple...

right now im in what ppl say to b prime of their lives...if i had plans of being a family man, this whole thing would b diff, but i do NOT want or need kids.. bc I am fully aware that I am no role model, n far to selfish to have them...although i give props to those who have kids and take responsibility n do right by them, I also know that having a family can greatly change that person's ideals and everything (which may be beneficial to me...;) however, having said that is also the reason why I have made this decision to not father a child... growing up in a single parent home, I do not want deprive another child of a father, so I think thats a respectable decision within itself...

Now, simply put, id prefer to do the time when im 45 or 50+ ideally than in 'my life's prime'...and i know it would give me more time by running, but rather be old in prison than young...so the trade off is fair to me...

this decision may also b influenced by my health conditions as well, bc truthfully if I even get to that age im lucky...most u dont know spent 6 months of my life in the hospital, and was told when i went in i was lucky bc i would deff have died if i did not...so i been on my deathbed already...and my disease is lifelong, debilitating,n progressive. I am aware that if i do pass bc of my disease it will be extremely painful and ugly...so im playing time there too, and that has and does effect how i live, and my high risk lifestyle...plus i always been an adrenaline junkie too.

so the trade is justified and fair TO ME in that regard

Now @Zenland and @Diode... did u both not read 'at great risk to me, for the betterment of NC.' ...n diode if u goin snitch on me wait about 2 weeks for ur own benefit...that way u get the reward...just hook up my commissary... that way it aint a complete bitch move.

Just being real, and giving more insight on my thinking.