Week 11: 5. Perpendicular (1-0) vs. 6. Frank (7-3) \\ Frank wins 5-3

timeless · 05-11-2014, 04:45 PM

Purple, wordplay was dope in this. Many quotable lines. Enjoyed your approach to the topic but it just seemed like it fell flat at the end. Felt you could’ve done more, given to how powerful the rest of the verse was. Not saying it was bad though, just felt it could’ve had more of an image painted to it, and not just in the end either. Your attention to detail with the rhymes is very impressive. Seems here that many people overlook the actual rhyming aspect and go right for content.

Frank, Don’t feel like going back and see how many times you actually make a whole verse rhyme, I know you’ve done it against me and someone else, but this shit was gold. Nothing really seemed forced either with the rhyme scheme, really impressed by that. Felt the overusage of the word “Walmart” distracted me, could’ve been used less, but that’s just picking. The story was dope, good bit of humor with a direct, positive ending. Boob pop like condom had me dying.

V.Frank for a more enjoyable read. Could go either way, dope battle.

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05-11-2014, 04:45 PM	#5
timeless past tense Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 1,625 Battle Record: 22-39 Rep Power: 4341329	Purple, wordplay was dope in this. Many quotable lines. Enjoyed your approach to the topic but it just seemed like it fell flat at the end. Felt you could’ve done more, given to how powerful the rest of the verse was. Not saying it was bad though, just felt it could’ve had more of an image painted to it, and not just in the end either. Your attention to detail with the rhymes is very impressive. Seems here that many people overlook the actual rhyming aspect and go right for content. Frank, Don’t feel like going back and see how many times you actually make a whole verse rhyme, I know you’ve done it against me and someone else, but this shit was gold. Nothing really seemed forced either with the rhyme scheme, really impressed by that. Felt the overusage of the word “Walmart” distracted me, could’ve been used less, but that’s just picking. The story was dope, good bit of humor with a direct, positive ending. Boob pop like condom had me dying. V.Frank for a more enjoyable read. Could go either way, dope battle.