relief

[YDK]

Maybe I shoulda cried with you,
Handed you a tissue when mom died instead of throwing fists at you.
I hope you know I never blamed you
It was painful to see you hurt but I was going insane too!
You lost your wife and I was 22 when it happened
we both lost the most important woman in our lives
Who could imagine?
That the repercussions would leave us cussing
busting windows doors cabinets drawers just to end up with nothin.
You turned to heroin strippers and alcohol
and I saw you were about to fall
But I couldn't catch you;
I was on those pills after all.
you wasted a half million dollars, most would get their throat slit
I blame the opiates cuz I know they numb the pain
so you don't owe me shit.
I remember the last at the house I almost killed you,
I choked you unconscious in anger but that's wat pills do
when your father tries to kill you and your daughter
by setting the house on fire.
I saved your life the same night,
The cop said he woulda shot you had he caught you with the lighter.
We didn't speak for months even when the baby came,
I didn't want her to know you or you to even know her name.
But then we stopped by one night to cop a sack of weed
I didn't wanna see you but you offered it for free.
As long as I let you meet your granddaughter
I tried to be a man and dammit you saw her.
But then I really saw you past all the torture and misery
I realized how much you really did for me.
You showed me how not to be
and its odd to see the facade I believed
Wasn't really as hard to be alone; my father and me.
I guess we're one in the same...I forgive you.
Look how strong we are together look how much shit we've been through!
Mom was right, we don't need to be around each other when we're mad,
So I fuckin hate to say it but for mom I will...
I love you dad