CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Frank 2-1 vs EtH 2-0 - ETH 3-0

[sral]

Week AOWL Season V, Week 11


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!



Topic:

G/Luck

@EtH @Frank

[EtH]

Check. Let's make this the BOTW Franklyn.

[Frank]

here

[Frank]

.............................

EDITED BY: ADONIS


deleted verse + votes already cast = Eth flawless 3-0

[EtH]

Today, 03:27 AM - I can't close shit for another 18 hours so unless Lars gets to them you're safe. G/Luck bitches

Today, 05:27 PM - Been 16 hours @EtH


Dem math skills.

[EtH]

FINALLY the site stops fucking up.

[EtH]

Perfume sits soft on her collar and I smell the fumes
The sweet cinnamon scent could make a fella swoon
Outside of the Summer Ball, 2006
The air thickens, gravity pinned down by the kiss
I was honestly lost, at the border we crossed
A lip locking peninsula of strawberry gloss
A once depressant adolescent, now earth was pleasant
Gently, she held my hollow hand and transferred her essence
Past forgotten, as we passed through Autumn I enveloped her kindness
Fingers constantly fastened in a delicate vice grip
But our blank canvas, sprawled out and fit for painting
Was rolled up and shipped off by immigration
Love lay in the Latin blood which ran within her
Reducing our future to mere ash and cinders
I groaned and ached “Hey, hold it, wait!”
She pressed her hands on the back window as they drove away
Now...
As the morning crests, and consciousness bleeds dreams away
I can’t lead the way or seize the day if I cease to wake
My eyes open with ease, now an answer exists
A jam jar stuffed full with grandmother’s gifts
A bouquet of green notes from birthdays and Christmas
Anticipating and waiting to journey this distance
Mother’s eyes in agony, father’s beam with pride
He says “Don’t worry dear, you’ll see, he’s fine”
Pick up my backpack and leave my baggage behind
My passage of life, the taxi arrives and I vanish from sight
My plane experience? A heaving grind
I’m fazed when grazed by people’s sides
Yet I seem to like this peevish flight
Cause even sour grapes can make the sweetest wine
I wonder, will our love be a straight resume?
Will I smell a fragrant plume of that same perfume?
A collision of questions, my head in disorder
Every answer lies beyond this Mexican border
Off the plane, dust swirls in the air, I’m hit with the gust
Along the rustic road I see my rickety bus
The number of passengers double the total seats
Making my fidgety flight a 5 star hotel suite
Standing, deep in thought, it’s been half of a century
I start to wonder, can she remember me?
Is there possibly a chance that it’s done with us?
Is there any conceivable way that puppy love’s enough?
We arrive in her village, I’m leaving the bus
What will I do with my life if this dream is a bust?
She’s here, I see her, now what to do?
I see her velvet skin, bronzed and smooth
Her eyes pop in the sun, the most suitable of weather
Through her tattered clothes she’s more beautiful than ever
Our eyes connect, I pray to God as it’s unfolding
Her knees weaken, dropping the bucket of water she was holding
My heart transformed to a sub machine gun
We both drop everything and run to meet up
I had prayed to god and what an offering this was
To smell cinnamon perfume and taste strawberry lip-gloss.

[Dearg]

Frank, this kinda seemed all over the place. The long lines really don't do it for me. The story was pretty original, not very creative, but original nonetheless. Reminded me of Tom and Jerry for the most part. Wording was alright, pretty simple, could've been revised a bit. Imagery was your strong suit here for sure. I dunno, it was okay. Nothing mind blowing for a contender match though.

Eth, this was pretty good. Not a hundred percent sold on the concept but your writing made up for it. Wording was really simple but maintained a legit flow from beginning to end. Flow was cohesive enough. Overall a solid topical.

vote eth for the better topical.

[e11even]

Frank- one question... What the fuck?? I laughed really hard reading the bold topic slapped onto the end of the verse. That shit was hilarious. You obviously were under the impression this would be a no show and it just amazes me how many times people throw up no-show quality verses and then the guy/gal actually shows up. I find that to be entertaining. Anyway, this was not your bag and you were clearly goofing but I see the topic being the mouse is about to catch the trap or the cat all for the dream of finally getting that perfectly grated block of cheese. I did not dig this piece but I dug the comical slap on at the end. Good job?

EtH- I liked this. I'm not really sap-friendly when it comes to pieces, but I liked how you played off a singular trait(perfume) the entire story. What I didn't like is that the extra 10 lines you went over could very well have been shortened, as it felt kinda long winded and rantish in parts. The overall feeling of this was very positive and joyous for me as you did a good job putting the reader inside the protagonist's to experience your character's love and longing. The rhymes were very simple and plain, but some metaphors were interesting, some kinda goofy(Cause even sour grapes can make the sweetest wine). You did a good job and it's obvious you're no slouch with tropicals.

Frank pulled a Longest Yard and threw this match up, but EtH came prepared and out wrote the competition. I appreciate both you guys showing and thank you for giving me the opportunity to vote. MVGT ETH for an overall better written and enjoyable experience.

[asylum]

uhhh...
frank, your verse was aight man. you ended really weak bruh. the caps didn't help at all. but i really enjoyed your intro. this verse had some mad potential, then it went somewhere else... didn't really feel it in it's entirety, but overall... it was pretty chill. better luck next week brah.

/v eth you should invest in an entire name. anyways, your verse was sick as fuck. i enjoyed it. flow was enjoyable, rhymes were aiight... i think frank underestimated you. i think you underestimate you. push it harder next week.

[Frank]

I want my no show victory

[Adonis]

Originally Posted by sraL

THREAD CLEANED UP, THIS BATTLE IS NOW OPEN FOR VOTES!

@Frank @EtH

please refrain from posting in a open battle unless its a vote


This is warning one.


Frank, you have given the wringer to many members, accept the moderating teams decision

[Adonis]

Eth wins via the one true rule. He posted and didn't pull a verse