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#1 |
Detained
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 234
Battle Record: 2-3
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Pickin' you up in a pick up truck
With the slightest eye I hide despise & hope that we can fuck. You get in I'm panickin'. Reaching for Xanax again Please don't tell a friend. Ill get upset again. Trying hard to concentrate on your pretty face No wonder I didn't see you reaching for the mace. Such disgrace. I really wanted to take you to my place Now my goal in life is to hear your body thud into a hole tonight I grip n hold a knife after I gain control to slice Roll the dice if you can't play your card n fold em right I told a dyke I'm cold as ice formula one forty is what I pour in sprite But who knew this whore can fight retract the knife stab again & bore in twice torn from Christ turning my back I'm mortified Leaving no trace or video of my face for the porks to find I'm doing fine |
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#2 |
nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Cool man, we all were very worried about you.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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#3 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,485
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
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I told a dyke I'm cold as ice formula one forty is what I pour in sprite
mix it with alka seltzer and formula 40 40 that classic eminem shit. this was dark and loony and you should write more of it. never change, kid thank you
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Zack Wicks for president |
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#4 |
Pimpin' Butterflies
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 41
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This did have an Eminem or a horrorcore vibe. I thought it was an interesting read. There were times when your lines didn't transition that smoothly but once you got back into the groove of the Rhyme it jailed. I wish it were longer and I think this type of topic suits you well.
Stay up. |
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#5 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,480
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899407 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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idk.
ok? I told a dyke I'm cold as ice formula one forty is what I pour in sprite that was your best line. everything else was kind of blah. but keep writing! in time your kwazee thoughts will come with super dope multi's and you'll be king. Thanks for the read!
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Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder |
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