Chicks don't like it when you fart in their face. But every action has a reaction, right? Don't feed me beans then.

Wise Wiggles · 02-16-2015, 10:56 AM

I want to see life for what it really is. Cut oblivion
Straight to the point: blood, obsidian
All this dust-slipping is fucking limiting
I want that love-primitive. Morgue stuff,
Alive in the sheets. Dumbfounded phonies
Time to round up the homies & drive to the beach
I guess this sky is in reach, deceiving humble
Too much free time, & weekend struggles
You breathe fine... Right up until you don't
God's humor is a nice unfulfilling joke
Nights that filter hope. Everything is suicide
Pills that float. Why's it still a rope?
Go about your stress amidst bright civilian croak
Scoundrel depth, found in webs of giant heart
Scrounge for weapons; all the Mics on Mars
Countless precious, just hide the scars
Facial hair camouflage. Face the bear & counter odds
Society's poison, we all dream of tasting it
Roller rink of older things. Memory awakening
Ferment the steam of graciousness
No one's laughing. Take my soul
Wish your buds were duds when the nasty taste explodes
And them happy days erode
To suck the life outta you, like playing patty-cake with Rogue
We masturbate the goals, learn to toy & tease
Back breaker, trying to earn a coin & sleep
Maaaan, I'll tell ya, I think that urn is holding ME
I want his presence to shiver through my every
But there's no way out, the swimming pool's tide deadly
Crushing. Slamming. All us motherfucker's sandwiched
All us motherfuckers want to touch the animal
I NEED to soak it in, what you think I bust the camera for?
& I bet this planet's end stays comfortable inside my camera lense
I can't pretend I don't carve rhymes upon the phantom-bench
Etch into every crevice of this castle's spread
Row off into the bottle & get them paddle's wet
Hit it harder than ever
Throwing tantrums pacing myself, like carpet to Shredder
They never tell you that the hardest part is forever

Never.

Bodey · 02-22-2015, 12:23 PM

i can actaully feel your sadness as i read your writing. i seriously wanted to hug you when i read the urn line. despite its downer-ish vibe, every line is so on poinnt. read it twice. thanks

Zen · 03-06-2015, 07:17 PM

Up.

You have some of the coolest wording on the site, and that makes for some pretty cool lines. There's always a couple of parts that stick with me after I read it.

I want that love-primitive. Morgue stuff,
Alive in the sheets.
^^This was very good. No one here words their shit like this right chea.

God's humor is a nice unfulfilling joke
&
We masturbate the goals, learn to toy & tease
^^These were cool, too.

Keep on keeping on, brudda.

PancakeBrah · 03-22-2015, 08:29 PM

"No one's laughing. Take my soul
Wish your buds were duds when the nasty taste explodes
And them happy days erode
To suck the life outta you, like playing patty-cake with Rogue"

Jesus.

"They never tell you that the hardest part is forever"

"Too much free time, & weekend struggles"

Top tier stuff.

Pharaohs Army · 03-24-2015, 08:22 PM

Obviously internal is a forte of yours.

"Roller rink of older things."

I like how you push the limits here. Mixing trickier ones like this in with the cleaner internals.

"my every
tide deadly"

-an end rhyme. Impressive. I'd call it advanced and original.

Your rhymes are plentiful but maintain the rhythm.
I like the part Dancake quoted; another one that caught my eye was

"...& drive to the beach
I guess this sky is in reach, deceiving humble
Too much free time, & weekend struggles..."

very nice phonetically.
If I had to say something negative I'd ask you wtf is "deceiving humble"?

dead man · 03-25-2015, 11:31 PM

Too much free time, & weekend struggles
You breathe fine... Right up until you don't

Maaaan, I'll tell ya, I think that urn is holding ME
I want his presence to shiver through my every

ending line was fucking killer.

you read like a stream of panic. sublimation at its finest.

thanks.

Geno · 03-26-2015, 09:58 AM

this was dope.

wanted to copy snd paste some quotable spotd.. on wii tho, i cant fig out how. ill be back to feed better latsr nd edit. think im gonna get more active in here for a spell!

Edit: as promised.
Society's poison, we all dream of tasting it
Roller rink of older things. Memory awakening
Ferment the steam of graciousness
No one's laughing. Take my soul

as it would turn out im reading this to bronsons: A Light in The Addict lol
it sounds dope to this sort of depressed beat

thats the area i really wanted to point out. for some reason, it resonated with me. i think the roller rink of older things is what really hit me. dope work

Mr. J · 04-09-2015, 03:49 PM

Wise, Wise, Wise...from our moments in the cypher to this..
I find it intriguing how you are capable of melting your lines together.
the flow is steady paced and it drops line after line upon you
its a lot to take in at once but knowing your pain adds a lot elements here
quotables are scattered throughout as I've come to enjoy your verses.
not a moment to be let down, you are a great writer my dude..
you express a lot and make anything you do enjoyable even though you aren't having the best days of your life...
but hey...writing is always here for you man and Ill be around to read

Split Eight · 04-11-2015, 04:21 PM

Got this

Witty · 04-13-2015, 03:49 PM

This was crazy.

Can't go in to detail.

Just crazy. All of it.

Split Eight · 04-14-2015, 04:17 AM

Everything that has been quoted, plus

& I bet this planet's end stays comfortable inside my camera lense
I can't pretend I don't carve rhymes upon the phantom-bench
Etch into every crevice of this castle's spread
Row off into the bottle & get them paddle's wet
Hit it harder than ever

Your drops always ramble without droning on. They flit from subject to subject without jumping too much. I think that you've really zoomed out in perspective for your last couple drops. There was a few slips in wording, but your wording's much better than par for the course. The repetition of various visuals really makes your drops come alive, like "etching" etc.

Fire

david stern razor burns · 04-20-2015, 04:42 PM

You have REALLY been hitting your stride lately with your writing and that's in the open mic as well as in the less heralded cypher section; where you have been consistently posting very good work too.

It's clear the death of your uncle has had a huge impact on you, and the emotion coming through in the writing is very real.

The thing I probably like most about your work besides the always impressive flow and genuine content is the originality. You never try to be something you're not. You post what you post and if someone doesn't like it, well fuck them.
Respect.

02-16-2015, 10:56 AM	#1
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Chicks don't like it when you fart in their face. But every action has a reaction, right? Don't feed me beans then. I want to see life for what it really is. Cut oblivion Straight to the point: blood, obsidian All this dust-slipping is fucking limiting I want that love-primitive. Morgue stuff, Alive in the sheets. Dumbfounded phonies Time to round up the homies & drive to the beach I guess this sky is in reach, deceiving humble Too much free time, & weekend struggles You breathe fine... Right up until you don't God's humor is a nice unfulfilling joke Nights that filter hope. Everything is suicide Pills that float. Why's it still a rope? Go about your stress amidst bright civilian croak Scoundrel depth, found in webs of giant heart Scrounge for weapons; all the Mics on Mars Countless precious, just hide the scars Facial hair camouflage. Face the bear & counter odds Society's poison, we all dream of tasting it Roller rink of older things. Memory awakening Ferment the steam of graciousness No one's laughing. Take my soul Wish your buds were duds when the nasty taste explodes And them happy days erode To suck the life outta you, like playing patty-cake with Rogue We masturbate the goals, learn to toy & tease Back breaker, trying to earn a coin & sleep Maaaan, I'll tell ya, I think that urn is holding ME I want his presence to shiver through my every But there's no way out, the swimming pool's tide deadly Crushing. Slamming. All us motherfucker's sandwiched All us motherfuckers want to touch the animal I NEED to soak it in, what you think I bust the camera for? & I bet this planet's end stays comfortable inside my camera lense I can't pretend I don't carve rhymes upon the phantom-bench Etch into every crevice of this castle's spread Row off into the bottle & get them paddle's wet Hit it harder than ever Throwing tantrums pacing myself, like carpet to Shredder They never tell you that the hardest part is forever Never. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" Last edited by Wise Wiggles; 02-16-2015 at 01:28 PM.

03-22-2015, 08:29 PM	#4
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	"No one's laughing. Take my soul Wish your buds were duds when the nasty taste explodes And them happy days erode To suck the life outta you, like playing patty-cake with Rogue" Jesus. "They never tell you that the hardest part is forever" "Too much free time, & weekend struggles" Top tier stuff. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

03-25-2015, 11:31 PM	#6
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	Too much free time, & weekend struggles You breathe fine... Right up until you don't Maaaan, I'll tell ya, I think that urn is holding ME I want his presence to shiver through my every ending line was fucking killer. you read like a stream of panic. sublimation at its finest. thanks. __________________ Zack Wicks for president Last edited by dead man; 03-25-2015 at 11:35 PM.

03-26-2015, 09:58 AM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	this was dope. wanted to copy snd paste some quotable spotd.. on wii tho, i cant fig out how. ill be back to feed better latsr nd edit. think im gonna get more active in here for a spell! Edit: as promised. Society's poison, we all dream of tasting it Roller rink of older things. Memory awakening Ferment the steam of graciousness No one's laughing. Take my soul as it would turn out im reading this to bronsons: A Light in The Addict lol it sounds dope to this sort of depressed beat thats the area i really wanted to point out. for some reason, it resonated with me. i think the roller rink of older things is what really hit me. dope work __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est* Last edited by Geno; 03-26-2015 at 10:34 AM.

04-09-2015, 03:49 PM	#8
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Wise, Wise, Wise...from our moments in the cypher to this.. I find it intriguing how you are capable of melting your lines together. the flow is steady paced and it drops line after line upon you its a lot to take in at once but knowing your pain adds a lot elements here quotables are scattered throughout as I've come to enjoy your verses. not a moment to be let down, you are a great writer my dude.. you express a lot and make anything you do enjoyable even though you aren't having the best days of your life... but hey...writing is always here for you man and Ill be around to read __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

03-06-2015, 07:17 PM	#3
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Up. You have some of the coolest wording on the site, and that makes for some pretty cool lines. There's always a couple of parts that stick with me after I read it. I want that love-primitive. Morgue stuff, Alive in the sheets. ^^This was very good. No one here words their shit like this right chea. God's humor is a nice unfulfilling joke & We masturbate the goals, learn to toy & tease ^^These were cool, too. Keep on keeping on, brudda.

03-24-2015, 08:22 PM	#5
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Obviously internal is a forte of yours. "Roller rink of older things." I like how you push the limits here. Mixing trickier ones like this in with the cleaner internals. "my every tide deadly" -an end rhyme. Impressive. I'd call it advanced and original. Your rhymes are plentiful but maintain the rhythm. I like the part Dancake quoted; another one that caught my eye was "...& drive to the beach I guess this sky is in reach, deceiving humble Too much free time, & weekend struggles..." very nice phonetically. If I had to say something negative I'd ask you wtf is "deceiving humble"?

04-13-2015, 03:49 PM	#10
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	This was crazy. Can't go in to detail. Just crazy. All of it. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

04-20-2015, 04:42 PM	#12
david stern razor burns with razor spurs Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: At David Blaine's favorite place with David Spade and Macy Gray Posts: 87 Rep Power: 3750190	You have REALLY been hitting your stride lately with your writing and that's in the open mic as well as in the less heralded cypher section; where you have been consistently posting very good work too. It's clear the death of your uncle has had a huge impact on you, and the emotion coming through in the writing is very real. The thing I probably like most about your work besides the always impressive flow and genuine content is the originality. You never try to be something you're not. You post what you post and if someone doesn't like it, well fuck them. Respect.