SINCERELY SOME DELUSIONAL FREAK

dead man · 04-11-2013, 08:32 PM

/

accused of deceit, truth is for the foolish and weak
perusing in peace, from the comfort of a cubicle seat
i like a girl with beautiful teeth
cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep
translucent as sheets, ghostface silhouette, a mutant physique
tunafish sushi to eat, but only feast on uvula meat
space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat
so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see
NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash,
so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete
"I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts
cause you're a waste of energy. a fuselage leak
clueing elites into crucial news for a lucrative fee
there's a thousand ways to view the machine.
oxygen fluid to breathe through hollow plastic tubular reeds
it takes the death of their professor for a student to lead.

DEADMAN

Nigma · 04-11-2013, 08:42 PM

Quote:

i like a girl with beautiful teeth
cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep

made me laugh so fucking hard. totally caught me off guard.

cute little verse sir. solid throughout, i enjoyed the ending as well. the standard praises apply here, as per usual.

Quote:

space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat

lines like this are exemplary, holding concise and in-depth meaning with effortless flow.

nice post B

Loose Logic · 04-11-2013, 08:48 PM

this was structured well.. i liked the scheme and patterns.. it read pretty smooth.. over all i enjoyed it.. nicely put together.

Wise Wiggles · 04-11-2013, 09:45 PM

GANGSTA

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE WAS GANGSTA

EVERYBODY BOW

Just Write · 04-11-2013, 09:48 PM

again, nice piece sir. well put together, stayed on the same scheme throughout and flowed effortlessly. didn't expect nothing less. how long does it take you to write something like this out of curiosity?

cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep
translucent as sheets, ghostface silhouette, a mutant physique

this was pretty dirty man.. really enjoyed these two lines

so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see
NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash,
so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete
"I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts

this was dope too,

pretty much everything from there out was fire except i didnt like the fuselage stretch but fuck it, who am i. anyways yea, keep puttin out dope shit. peace

dead man · 04-12-2013, 09:09 AM

this was around 12 years in the making.. @Just Write

everybody you will be in my will. baleedat..

Zen · 04-12-2013, 11:40 AM

Best lines:
i like a girl with beautiful teeth
cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep
so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see
NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash,
so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete
"I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts

Nice drop...as always. Well worded lines and you made each word count which you have to do for a piece this short. And my only complaint is that this was too short lol. You had allot to work with here man. It was humorous and a bit dark at times you coulda went anywhere with this dead. Let me know when you drop again and I'll be sure to feed it.

Also if you could be so kind to feed my OM piece I'd be much obliged.
http://artofbattling.com/showthread....enLand-Part-II

PancakeBrah · 04-13-2013, 11:28 PM

Everything after the first two lines was fire. Fuselage leak. Yeah. The knuckle fucking was cool as well. But when isn't knuckle fucking cool.

"Spot on, mate!" -Some british person

dead man · 04-16-2013, 08:10 PM

word you make good points

zen i think i got to that? ill check right now

Mike Wrecka · 04-16-2013, 08:39 PM

ya sick. really well polished flow and structure. dead u the master of taking multis that mean absolute nonsense and using them in a way that works.

tunafish sushi to eat, but only feast on uvula meat
space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat

who the fuck would think mucus and wheat would work . but you make it sound intelligent and dope.

good stuff

CopyPat · 04-17-2013, 01:14 AM

Well done sir. Chalk another one up! so easy to read, smoooooooth as a muhfugga. enjoyed this alot man. i always liked when ur just a little more down to earth than on ur introspective style. just easier for the average reader to be engaged with. Dope for sure, nice metaphors. Classy Polished piece here buds, stay up!

p.s. i liked how the title was also the rhyme scheme, lol

04-11-2013, 08:32 PM	#1
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	SINCERELY SOME DELUSIONAL FREAK / accused of deceit, truth is for the foolish and weak perusing in peace, from the comfort of a cubicle seat i like a girl with beautiful teeth cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep translucent as sheets, ghostface silhouette, a mutant physique tunafish sushi to eat, but only feast on uvula meat space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash, so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete "I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts cause you're a waste of energy. a fuselage leak clueing elites into crucial news for a lucrative fee there's a thousand ways to view the machine. oxygen fluid to breathe through hollow plastic tubular reeds it takes the death of their professor for a student to lead. DEADMAN __________________ Zack Wicks for president

04-11-2013, 09:45 PM	#4
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	GANGSTA THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE WAS GANGSTA EVERYBODY BOW __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

04-12-2013, 09:09 AM	#6
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	this was around 12 years in the making.. @Just Write everybody you will be in my will. baleedat.. __________________ Zack Wicks for president

04-13-2013, 11:28 PM	#8
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Everything after the first two lines was fire. Fuselage leak. Yeah. The knuckle fucking was cool as well. But when isn't knuckle fucking cool. "Spot on, mate!" -Some british person __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

04-16-2013, 08:10 PM	#9
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	word you make good points zen i think i got to that? ill check right now __________________ Zack Wicks for president

04-11-2013, 08:48 PM	#3
Loose Logic Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 29 Rep Power: 175091	this was structured well.. i liked the scheme and patterns.. it read pretty smooth.. over all i enjoyed it.. nicely put together.

04-11-2013, 09:48 PM	#5
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	again, nice piece sir. well put together, stayed on the same scheme throughout and flowed effortlessly. didn't expect nothing less. how long does it take you to write something like this out of curiosity? cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep translucent as sheets, ghostface silhouette, a mutant physique this was pretty dirty man.. really enjoyed these two lines so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash, so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete "I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts this was dope too, pretty much everything from there out was fire except i didnt like the fuselage stretch but fuck it, who am i. anyways yea, keep puttin out dope shit. peace

04-12-2013, 11:40 AM	#7
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Best lines: i like a girl with beautiful teeth cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash, so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete "I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts Nice drop...as always. Well worded lines and you made each word count which you have to do for a piece this short. And my only complaint is that this was too short lol. You had allot to work with here man. It was humorous and a bit dark at times you coulda went anywhere with this dead. Let me know when you drop again and I'll be sure to feed it. Also if you could be so kind to feed my OM piece I'd be much obliged. http://artofbattling.com/showthread....enLand-Part-II

04-16-2013, 08:39 PM	#10
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	ya sick. really well polished flow and structure. dead u the master of taking multis that mean absolute nonsense and using them in a way that works. tunafish sushi to eat, but only feast on uvula meat space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat who the fuck would think mucus and wheat would work . but you make it sound intelligent and dope. good stuff __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

04-17-2013, 01:14 AM	#11
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	Well done sir. Chalk another one up! so easy to read, smoooooooth as a muhfugga. enjoyed this alot man. i always liked when ur just a little more down to earth than on ur introspective style. just easier for the average reader to be engaged with. Dope for sure, nice metaphors. Classy Polished piece here buds, stay up! p.s. i liked how the title was also the rhyme scheme, lol