IS BIG GAME REGISTERED HERE YET!??! LMFAOAHSKAANA WELCOME TO AOB FAGIT AHAHA

[Split]

Lmao @ I couldn't do that in a week

You can get this work, I aint even mid tier

[Sn00p]

Originally Posted by Big Game

I already know your lame ass gonna drop nothing so i'll just by-pass that situation quickly.
But if you had any sense you can find all kinds of twists in that verse actually - and that was very quickly written - you couldn't do that in a week.
That verse is mostly to do with nameplay - him being LSD

No need for the negativity here. I'm being all friendly too. Plus, I'm just trying to help you see where your weak points are and how you can improve. If you really want, I can quote some verses here, too.

And yes, I got your lines. No worries. And yes, it wasn't bad. For a quick drop against someone really bad, it might even be enough to win. But would you call your line wordplay creative? I mean, honestly: Can you really say that you're proud of yourself for that line? Because I'm sure you yourself have seen that type of line done maaany times before. Hell, even J.R. just posted a coke line here. :(

[Big Game]

Originally Posted by Sn00p

You're not even that bad. If you battled here some more and started to weed out your played lines, you could become decent. As I said, line wordplay is really old. And that's not a good look. Same with the head south bar. That kinda shit is too simple. But yeah, you have the basics down.

Oh and Kony is from Uganda. Not South Africa. Just a little heads-up.

Yea well he still terrorizes S Africans (or ar least did)
I aint disagreeing that the verse isn't top notch - definitely aint my best and like I said I wrote that verse very quickly. And I had no info on dude - he has like 5 posts and no info except his location.
I can deal with the criticism - but now you produce something.

[super pimp trillionaire]

You guys are serious too, that's the best part.

[Strikta]

Originally Posted by J.R.

i dropped a Audio in this thread homie...look for it...its prolly on tha fourth page
aint no shame in mine....but sumbody said they wanted a written..this is a verse i on Big game when he was his Alter Ego, Flo Matic


ayo,

Flo Matic, you rap like you Hold Ratchets
jus an Act wit tha Cold Tactics, but you Lackin tha Whole Package
i Mold Havoc, boutta turn me back to my Old Habbits
you write Fiction, you want Friction, at best you'd get Slow Static
see, i dont "Expo" lines, i jus Expose Lines
to stretch those spines, you drivin into a Text Road Mine
i set heads on fire, not like Exoduzt when he dropped tha "Burnin Man"
im talkin bout tha flash backs Mike Jackson got every time he sipped a Pepsi Can
so what now? you gone jump in this thread and Check Me?
dont you think we know you a undercover agent for LetsBeef?
fuck it, Lets Beef, better yet..Lets Meet
cuz if i ever seen you in person it would be Less Meat
look, im not one of these Coward Guys, got pull cuz im Down to Ride
battlin my homie was tha only time you thought of Pushin Hom Aside
readin your verse, i caint even count how many Times i Sighed
cuz i never got High, no matter how many Lines i Tried
so take ya rhymes off of tha market, you gettin No Sales
once i come through swangin these hammers, im like a Folk Tale
every thing i touch is molten, i got Lava Spits
Flo Matic is all Technology, he got Java Scripts
truth be told, i aint thinkin of him Shootin me Down
im sittin here like, "fuck! i guess he boutta Google me Now!"
and everybody knows i dont even Drop OM's
i'd rather dig up an old Chain verse and Quote Him

aint no shame nigga..im not like yall...i'll drop my shyt wit no problem


Sass

lol

This nigga wack as shit.

[Big Game]

Originally Posted by Sn00p

No need for the negativity here. I'm being all friendly too. Plus, I'm just trying to help you see where your weak points are and how you can improve. If you really want, I can quote some verses here, too.

And yes, I got your lines. No worries. And yes, it wasn't bad. For a quick drop against someone really bad, it might even be enough to win. But would you call your line wordplay creative? I mean, honestly: Can you really say that you're proud of yourself for that line? Because I'm sure you yourself have seen that type of line done maaany times before. Hell, even J.R. just posted a coke line here. :(

That comment was aimed toward Split.
I say they are played but it depends on how you use them.
I'm talking about not wasting my lines, he's talking about taking in the lines.
I see your point though, I even commented on his line in that verse too when he dropped it. (shoulda caught that)
But I don't really look at played "concepts", more less played "bars" or "lines".

[Sn00p]

Originally Posted by Big Game

Yea well he still terrorizes S Africans (or ar least did)
I aint disagreeing that the verse isn't top notch - definitely aint my best and like I said I wrote that verse very quickly. And I had no info on dude - he has like 5 posts and no info except his location.
I can deal with the criticism - but now you produce something.

"The LRA operates in Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Central African Republic and South Sudan."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony

Nope.

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg
plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak
& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners
dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well
plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts
see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow
& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

If you don't get a line, ask me. It's probably a personal.

[Big Game]

Originally Posted by NAQ

You guys are serious too, that's the best part.

Aye Snoop aint came at me wrong. And me and Sass aint shamed to show our skill. I mean if the debate is who has skill and can hold up - then you shouldn't be talkin about nothin until you drop somethin - feel me

[J.R.]

i read through yall shyt...and yall no concept or meta's/wordplay/punches...

you was reachin so hard to pick apart my verse...LOL sumthin like a hater...i even tried to take yall serious



Sass

[Strikta]

That was a dope one Sn00p.. wasn't expecting that.

Great battle that was.

[Ghost1]

lol english aint even sn00ps first language an he would mangle u 2 retards

[Strikta]

If u still say metas.

Chances are text isn't for u.

[Sn00p]

Originally Posted by J.R.

i read through yall shyt...and yall no concept or meta's/wordplay/punches...

you was reachin so hard to pick apart my verse...LOL sumthin like a hater...i even tried to take yall serious

Sass

Please look at the verse I just posted and then say that again. Honestly, take a look at it.

Originally Posted by Strikta

That was a dope one Sn00p.. wasn't expecting that.

Great battle that was.

Word. You had a verse I coulda put up here too. But they wanted one from me. Good shit though.

[Ghost1]

big lame i am ready for u to consume me, prepare ur mouth

[Sharp]

Originally Posted by Big Game

Did this bum think he’d take the win - one hit will fucking break his chin
Take a look at his name again – who don’t know LSD’s paper-thin?
Basic, but decent nameflip- the punch of 'paper thin' could've been set up better
Your verse aint rhyme one time – and I don’t want to stir confusions
Cos I know ya thought it was rhyming but L - that was pure illusions
Statement, also kind of a feed. Wouldn't call this a hit
I come to damage ya amateur – my hits collapsing your scapula
You and your verse headed South and I aint talkin bout back in to Africa
Setup and punch weren't really connected, punch itself was alright, but a little basic
Your drop was all statements and that statement there was coerced
Or maybe that was your expos – so where the fuck is your verse???
I see what you're trying to say here, but the approach was weak - ironically enough it became statementish itself
Expressing aggression straight coming at me all rude and cocky
Dudes mad as hell – sure that verse aint part two of the illuminati?
Lines like this need to be just standalone funny to hit, this wasnt tho
I aint even gonna come with rawl shit - I aint even gonna take my time
You’re like an aids infested coce whore - on you I wouldn’t waste a line
Wp is there, but really basic. Seen this sort of thing enough to call it a miss
But If I fuel these bars with hatred they become explosive homie
Fucking terrorize your South African ass like I was Joseph Kony
Kony is in Uganda, and this was really more statementish too
Dawg you was falling regardless – and this here was just an ad-lib
You got dropped – but to make ya feel better, go head and call it a bad trip
Your strongest line, but the setup was lacking

Quick little feed from my phone. You seem to have your fundamentals down, but the concepts were generally a little lacking. I'd recommend signing into AOBL, a few weeks of that would really shape you up

[Split]

Director personnel/ direct or personal
Gastric/ gas Strik
Denying extension
and personals

ya can't be serious about no name plays/ wordplay

[Strikta]

They still say METAS

As in metaphors.

lmao gtfo w/ that bullshit.

[Big Game]

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

This right here had some creativity but it is self-glory and don't cut it where I'm from. Maybe if there is a little bit in the set up or beginning of the punchline but not for the end of the punch. Putting that self-glory at the end is meaning that it's what you want the punch to be based on.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

I don't like how you ended the punch here. It is on some amateur shit if you ask me (you disgusting freak)

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

That didn't rhyme for me. (decent/cleaners) I mean, I know what a slant rhyme is but that was forced.
And I don't understand this at all

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

Yea, don't get this. It's definitely a personal that i would need filled in on

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

Lol - that was funny but not too much more complex than my shit

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

Damn - LA don't give wins for No-Show - it just goes to No Mans Land. I guess dudes name was ex?

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

More nameplay: it's hard to judge this because there is a lot of history within it. But I can tell you that it is all that complex.
Just being real with you

[super pimp trillionaire]

At first I thought v would be mad cuz y'all showed them what it really is. But they look oblivious...
Smfh

[Witty]

Originally Posted by Big Game

You referring to weak bars like this when you say you write better?
Yea this bar is damn "witty" son

ayo ay ay ayo .. check it ..aight check it ...... ... you look like a little girl and you got big Boobies! hahahaha

You killin em dimwit!

Interesting....now, can you tell me what I meant by that and what the punch might mean?

Nope, because u don't know the history behind it.

Also....I am a better writer than you.