half the man i use to be

YDK · 03-09-2014, 03:06 AM

I'm not half the man I use to be, usually;
I've been used up and stupidly; accepted what ruined me.
Tears fall fluidly when I think about the lunacy
that caused me to fragment mentally from scrutiny!
The death of my mother didn't kill me fruitlessly,
Because the community raised me the rest of the way beautifully.
I've dealt with that pain as much as humanly possible,
Hurdled the obstacles in my path atleast the ones that were plausable.
Like moving on was optional I declared my resolve
as i let pills "heal" me till even they were appalled!
Pain killers had me enthralled so i called to anyone that would scald me
To slip from the grip of addiction before death could befall me...

Years later I've never wavered, I've done what i needed
Turned from the wayward son to a father that succeeded.
A published author, loving husband, and a genuine person,
A man that can handle anything no matter the burden.
My life since my mother's death; I grew from that seed,
Like a rose in the pavement I'm blooming dutifully.
So I'm not half the man that i use to be,
I'm twice that...usually.

Just Write · 03-09-2014, 06:56 AM

I told you when i first rread this that i really enjoyed this verse. It had a subtle beauty to it. Im not gunna say too much here as I am doing the no show shine this week in the mag. Ill cover it more in depth in there but I just wanted to say props.

YDK · 03-14-2014, 09:08 AM

upp

Mr. J · 03-31-2014, 05:17 PM

This was a cool little piece
I like the rhyme pattern you used for thos
it made the piece flow more fluent
I felt the first half was the strongest section
the vibe was very consciously present
what you brought to the table was slick
nice drop my dude...would have been a battle had your opponent showed
regardless...keep writing

03-09-2014, 03:06 AM	#1
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	half the man i use to be I'm not half the man I use to be, usually; I've been used up and stupidly; accepted what ruined me. Tears fall fluidly when I think about the lunacy that caused me to fragment mentally from scrutiny! The death of my mother didn't kill me fruitlessly, Because the community raised me the rest of the way beautifully. I've dealt with that pain as much as humanly possible, Hurdled the obstacles in my path atleast the ones that were plausable. Like moving on was optional I declared my resolve as i let pills "heal" me till even they were appalled! Pain killers had me enthralled so i called to anyone that would scald me To slip from the grip of addiction before death could befall me... Years later I've never wavered, I've done what i needed Turned from the wayward son to a father that succeeded. A published author, loving husband, and a genuine person, A man that can handle anything no matter the burden. My life since my mother's death; I grew from that seed, Like a rose in the pavement I'm blooming dutifully. So I'm not half the man that i use to be, I'm twice that...usually. __________________

03-09-2014, 06:56 AM	#2
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	I told you when i first rread this that i really enjoyed this verse. It had a subtle beauty to it. Im not gunna say too much here as I am doing the no show shine this week in the mag. Ill cover it more in depth in there but I just wanted to say props. __________________

03-14-2014, 09:08 AM	#3
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	upp __________________

03-31-2014, 05:17 PM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	This was a cool little piece I like the rhyme pattern you used for thos it made the piece flow more fluent I felt the first half was the strongest section the vibe was very consciously present what you brought to the table was slick nice drop my dude...would have been a battle had your opponent showed regardless...keep writing __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you