bilge.

[Mael]

an ancient selachimorphic wonder - Dakuwaqa's mirror image
breed under lacustrine bridges. a shifting neritic pillar - sickness,
a villain, cryptic. indolently swim during the eagre of a river's ridges
return to the reef & fishes, die backwards. worth the sacrificial distance
endure blisters from the rabble used to stir my blade's molten state
men call it prayer, when they recite foreign names coughed in vain
often blame that on the reason the cells got delayed during the oscillate
life of a heathen - refute the occlusion, ensues blood clots, rot - decay.
i'm a regolith cloak over a core of limestone; brass - polished, gleam.
envision diamonds, gemstone & a reticello-fitted crown - mineral battology.
a sovereign being, fucked. drenched in a world of sodomy, lust.
got a chainsaw clothed in tree dust cause the timber Donjon is a quarantine must.
honestly, brah. my life's the last chapter of recherché rarissima.
a rarity, full of condescending folly, greed, luck - straight from Polynesia.
sip on a singapore sling while my tongue cradles excellence
an age-old testament. Strelitzia in the Saraha - a state of ecesis.
somatotype of a rampallion archangel from a dark fable
the way i impart nails & shards - fatal. pull out ya heart's cables.
precision of the Japanese bushi - galvanic, grueling.
a nacarat calvary swoop in with a narquious paradigm - stupid.
ghostly gimp. before this cold & lonely vent,
i hope she inhales the holy scent of an Old Etonian
roaming Groak during thanksgiving, ambient amphibian,
a case of mild kakidrosis within a coat made of tanned linen; thin.
awaken to malnoia, go to sleep with calves of iron
depart the senses to imaginary enation - The Otian; a path, defying.

[Mael]

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=226464
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=226462

I'll post more links/feed later.

[veritas]

impressive. I will be honest, this piece is not going to get a lot of feed as it contains exquisite vocab tied in with conceptual references, and peeps are naturally lazy, same happens with my posts. I do understand that while you are physically talking about nautical themes of seepage and what "swims" thru it...there is more at play here. Part of me wants to say that you are simply saying smart things to seem smart, another part of me thinks you might actually be. Regardless of my meager opinion, you are certaintly inventive and your vocabulary and conceptual grasp are top notch. Your rhyming was on point. you have inspired me. Remember that a fool makes the simple complex, and a genius makes the complex simple Good luck sir. Will check out more from you.

[Objective]

Nice opener, had to google what you were talking about but I didn't regret that I did. It will definitely be enjoyed by those that gets it without googling as well. However, when you're using the vocabulary that you do I'd appreciate it more if you proof-read it a bit more. '' sigapore'' being one of the offenders here. It kinda makes me stop and re-read the sentence which I shouldn't have to do as it disrupts the flow.

The mechanics of the verse was decent with lots of metaphores & wordplay (the sharks and the shark-god-opener for example), along with a rich language that makes the piece itself unique in its own sense. The title and how you carried on with the bilge as a concept was dope af. Pieces like this would definitely stand strong in a AOWL-match. Looking forward to read more from you.

[Wise Wiggles]

I read this shit.
Word to your mother.

[Eŋg]

i read this; shit.
word. to your mother.

[Mael]

@The Mind Assassin - Thanks for the feed.
@Objective - lol @ sigapore. Terrible. Should stop using Notepad, it hasn't got spell check. Props for the feed.
@oXus - I suppose, you know.. bilge, it tends to be. Or maybe you missed the title?

[Eŋg]

tends to be? i suppose. maybe you missed the part where i mirrored the post above me. mkay.

[Nigma]

Props on opening with a handful of words I've probably never read before and still facilitate flow to a degree where my ignorance in pronunciation did not take away from the smooth read. Captured my attention (and added a few words to my vocabularly) with that opener and lambasted some really nice images throughout. A short read with as much content per capita as Pandora's Box. Without going back for a second read, the tree dust line stuck with me. There were vivid images throughout but the buildup/placement of that one in particular worked very well for me. Overall impression, I probably took in about 80% of the content which gives this verse the wonders of re-readability. I like how it forces the reader to physically look up words to enjoy it to its potential. Even in doing so, it provides a certain mysterious allure. Well done with this one

[PancakeBrah]

wowee zowee look at the words I know!

The use of purposefully inaccessible/remote vocabulary missed me. Usually it's a sign of trying way too hard but that wasn't the case here. I googled what I didn't know, you're very impressive with your words and stuff. Not really, seems kind of like a jerking off. Anyways, the flow/rhythm of this piece was silk. Looking past the vocab wanking; the schemes, "delivery", and flow was top notch here. Your use of grammar to impart your intended pace was great and a mark of a good writer. You know how to write, you're above the grade. I would prefer something more accessible from you but I enjoyed this in bunches despite my reservations in regards to your 'words! LOOK AT THE WORDS!!!' approach.

Dope.

[zygote]

Apparently the word bilge means two things: 1. Something on a ships hull. 2. Nonsensical writing. Was this some attempt to write using a lot of nonsensical phrases while using all the nautical themed words just to disguise it? Whatever the intention I enjoyed it, and if that means I liked the so-called bilge then that's OK too. Good interesting writing and perhaps a nice satire of overly complex vocabulary.

[Mael]

@Wise Ways - Didn't see your post somehow, lol. Thanks I guess.
@oXus - See above. Not to mention that semi colon you intentionally placed before "shit" had me doubt it's lexical category. Our recent encounter didn't help.
@Nigma - Appreciate the read & feed, mate.
@PancakeBrah - lol.. props for the feed. I'll try something more accessible next time.
@ZYG - More of, it not entirely, the latter. The nautical references in this piece were purely coincidental. There's only so much one can write about the outer part of a ship's hull, lol. Thanks for the read & feed, mate.

[Eŋg]

its*

& definitely placed the semi-colon there on purpose. i know what bilge means.

[Vulgar]

lol @ Pancake's feedback. He's partially on the ball concerning the obvious vocabulary flags. I haven't heard of most of these words which was a breath of fresh air. It reminds me that I need to read more books.

i'm a regolith cloak over a core of limestone; brass - polished, gleam.
^Good line. I like the word 'regolith' and will attempt to add it to my arsenal.

sip on a singapore sling while my tongue cradles excellence
an age-old testament. Strelitzia in the Saraha - a state of ecesis.
^You've been reading the Smithsonian lately, haven't you?

ghostly gimp. before this cold & lonely vent,
i hope she inhales the holy scent of an Old Etonian
^Cool flow.

Keep your nose in the dictionary, friend. Although not too long; you might develop ink-tholosis. Yes, I made that word up, and like a rookie I used a dash.

Keep doing you

[Mael]

Appreciate the feed, Vulgar. Please note that some of the words used are French and/or of Old English dialects. So searching for them on Google might turn up zero results.



I'll post definitions and links later.

[big baby]

That's what I was thinking. I didn't really see anything out of the ordinary here, except the words that I think had a different tongue to them. Either way, putting them together sort of activated my accent. Good job M.