reality check

[Just Write]

Ive laid here often, wondering if I deserve a grave or a coffin,
All the mistakes that I've made, how I've been betrayin my conscience,
Disgracing the prophets who said i'd be a good father & husband.
Instead I've wandered away, a hypocrite passing on judgement.
Whatever the subject I'm always making excuses, faking up bruises,
Anything I can do to stray away from the truth that I'm useless.
Damn... reality hurts, and sure packs a hell of a punch..
I hope I'm packin enough drugs to help me cover it up.
Use'ta be a sucker for love, but usually i just push em away
And all the pills that I take couldn't help to cushion the pain
could honestly say my ex woman's to blame for making me nuts
Or it could be the guilt that enflames me for cheatin on her for months
Whatever it is I'm down in the dumps, but it could be worse
I could be carried away in a hearse, forgotten, then burried in dirt
Its funny how this disparaging curse is all I have left to my name...
Cuz i've been to hell and beyond, but ill never let myself be singed by the flames

[Geno]

From useless on this picked up and was flames, ill drop jw
Good mechanics. Heartfelt and I dig it.

[e11even]

This is an excerpt from my life I swear. The message was deep and comprehensive, while hitting hard with solid scheme and flow. This was an essential piece. Not flashy, but definitely necessary. Good job Write.

[Darth Yoda]

Deep.

[CopyPat]

Reaaaaaaly good JW. this is about as polished as they come. shit like this can be converted to audio easily, which i always think deserves a little more credit then it gets here.. but these are texts boards so whatever. yeah man. realness. emotion. heartfelt content.. flowed effortlessly smooth, was good length, got to the point. NO filler. just a great open mic. props

[Dove Dozer]

This is what I'm talkin about. A lot of flex brag pieces get props but this has some great substance. Props fam. Ill as fuck

[Just Write]

good lookin @Dove Dozer+ when we gunna get a collab goin? send me somethin

[Just Write]

everybody else good lookin too, if i haven't rtf yet get at me @CopyPat @Vividlyvague @Darth Yoda @Lucifer


fuckin lotta @'s

[oats]

This was a high caliber of dope. On my phone but I'll return for more.

[Bodey]

liked it cuz it was raw with honesty. almost like you had to step back and examine yourself. that last line is killer, though i enjoyed every line. definitely can relate to that self-destructive mindstate. even as you shift away from yourself by blaming your ex, you transition it back onto you with another confession of reflection.

good read, keep jottin

[Zen]

I'm late on the feed and I apologize so here it goes.

The positives:

I've noticed more and more lately that you have refined your style and have definitely found your voice as a writer. I noticed the emotion you put into your pieces before, specifically your HOF nominated work, but lately in each thing I read from you has been packed with emotion. That is your strongest point as a writer, and is possibly the strongest point of any writer. To be able to convey to the reader not only what you are feeling, but making the reader himself feel it. Powerful stuff.

The negatives:

If I had to choose a negative of this it would be that the rhyme scheme is too simple for my taste. With that being said, it's not that big of a deal because of what I just said in the positives.

I'd love to read another long ass work from you just like this. Nice work old friend.

[Scripter]

This was very fluent and fit the title well. I personally thought the rhyming scheme fit well, and that the rhyming scheme don't have to be amazing to make a piece worth reading.

This was my favorite part, because it is the reality for all of us.

"Whatever it is I'm down in the dumps, but it could be worse
I could be carried away in a hearse, forgotten, then burried in dirt"