Mr. Clean

CopyPat · 10-10-2013, 03:57 AM

Rap cult leader, bath salt eater
I spit it crazy dope cause I’m that Walt..re-up
Ya rap vault e’d up, ya runnin on empty
In fact ya’ll need up to a hundred and twenty
More verses to fuck with me, cause your worse than a pug would be
At not having wrinkles, you fot slabby pimple
Whoops that was a mistake I meant fat slobby feeble when
I put acid in ya steak until ya can’t talk the beef again
I act all indecent when proposed with wackness
And I Demied Moore pieces than a showbiz actress
Cause I showed you phatness in every single click I post
My flow is madness and everything I spit is dope
Anything original is hard to come across
So when I bring this little old bar you somersault
Like gymnastics class. You flipped, that was that
I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah
I kick half your ass now and half again later
I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader
So how could you haters even attempt to persecute
When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two?
My pen is merciful to those who ain’t suck
Tremendous vertical, my flow is way up
I motivate chumps to flow past they edges
I’m Goin A-Plus when most rappers F this
Those have detention cause they lack the principles
And don’t have the senses cause they act as criminals
My tracks is really old-school with a twist
Infact they pretty dope, you would admit
I’m cooler than whip cream, cooler than mints be
Cooler than wintery coolers in fridge freeze
Who would unchill me? Nobody nada
I’m fluidly filthy, let me me show ya the product
The whole enchilada is my only objective
So my goal is just all of this yo, and I gets it
The flow is remarkable, notables yes its
The overall possible total most bestest!!

Garbage....don't feed this

Plot · 10-10-2013, 10:38 AM

Should have been named:
Overall possible total most bestest.

Kaeo Seru · 10-12-2013, 12:14 PM

haha cool shit my dude. we must work together again. you already know i love your style so i wont get redundant here. classic pat

I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah
I kick half your ass now and half again later
I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader
So how could you haters even attempt to persecute
When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two?

my fav section

Geno · 10-12-2013, 05:14 PM

I prefered the opening.
Then the middle picked up again.
Pretty dope, rapid rhymes as usual. Good drop cp

Certain · 10-12-2013, 05:28 PM

This part was dope:

Quote:

I act all indecent when proposed with wackness
And I Demied Moore pieces than a showbiz actress
Cause I showed you phatness in every single click I post
My flow is madness and everything I spit is dope
Anything original is hard to come across
So when I bring this little old bar you somersault
Like gymnastics class. You flipped, that was that
I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah
I kick half your ass now and half again later
I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader
So how could you haters even attempt to persecute
When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two?
My pen is merciful to those who ain’t suck
Tremendous vertical, my flow is way up
I motivate chumps to flow past they edges
I’m Goin A-Plus when most rappers F this
Those have detention cause they lack the principles
And don’t have the senses cause they act as criminals

This part wasn't:

Quote:

Ya rap vault e’d up, ya runnin on empty
In fact ya’ll need up to a hundred and twenty
More verses to fuck with me, cause your worse than a pug would be
At not having wrinkles, you fot slabby pimple
Whoops that was a mistake I meant fat slobby feeble when
I put acid in ya steak until ya can’t talk the beef again

The way your style works is, the less natural the wording, the worse it reads. Because you're mostly just riffing and flipping rhymes, you can't afford to get caught up in confusing word choice. The "fot" thing really bothered me. And "E'd up" isn't an expression that I've ever heard. So those two things tripped me up, and I didn't get the "acid in ya steak" line,, and the "worse than a pug would be at not having wrinkles" didn't work because the line break left me confused.

But then you got flowing and smoothed your shit out and were were all good.

CopyPat · 10-12-2013, 06:11 PM

haha thanks @Certain. yeah the more i read this the less i like it aswell..i was just bored and wrote some random shit. there wasn't alot here thats for sure... i didn't put enough effort into this and now i rerget it.. oh well.. yes plot i honestly did think of naming it that... but it just wasn't good enough to deserve that title haha, thx for the looks geno
Legend yeah man lets collab. hit me up with whatever. im down

Zen · 10-12-2013, 07:10 PM

I've seen better from you holmes, but I still enjoyed this shit. You have one of the most unique styles on here. It isn't flashy, but the flow is always nice as is the content. Some parts of this slacked like the section Certain pointed out, but besides that this shit was nice. We still gotta collab too man. Keep dropping holmes.

10-10-2013, 03:57 AM	#1
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	Mr. Clean Rap cult leader, bath salt eater I spit it crazy dope cause I’m that Walt..re-up Ya rap vault e’d up, ya runnin on empty In fact ya’ll need up to a hundred and twenty More verses to fuck with me, cause your worse than a pug would be At not having wrinkles, you fot slabby pimple Whoops that was a mistake I meant fat slobby feeble when I put acid in ya steak until ya can’t talk the beef again I act all indecent when proposed with wackness And I Demied Moore pieces than a showbiz actress Cause I showed you phatness in every single click I post My flow is madness and everything I spit is dope Anything original is hard to come across So when I bring this little old bar you somersault Like gymnastics class. You flipped, that was that I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah I kick half your ass now and half again later I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader So how could you haters even attempt to persecute When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two? My pen is merciful to those who ain’t suck Tremendous vertical, my flow is way up I motivate chumps to flow past they edges I’m Goin A-Plus when most rappers F this Those have detention cause they lack the principles And don’t have the senses cause they act as criminals My tracks is really old-school with a twist Infact they pretty dope, you would admit I’m cooler than whip cream, cooler than mints be Cooler than wintery coolers in fridge freeze Who would unchill me? Nobody nada I’m fluidly filthy, let me me show ya the product The whole enchilada is my only objective So my goal is just all of this yo, and I gets it The flow is remarkable, notables yes its The overall possible total most bestest!! Garbage....don't feed this __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. Last edited by CopyPat; 10-12-2013 at 09:04 PM. Reason: Shit's wack, don't read this

10-12-2013, 12:14 PM	#3
Kaeo Seru Keeper Of The Fresh Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Mayhem Gardens Posts: 84 Rep Power: 36	haha cool shit my dude. we must work together again. you already know i love your style so i wont get redundant here. classic pat I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah I kick half your ass now and half again later I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader So how could you haters even attempt to persecute When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two? my fav section __________________

10-12-2013, 05:14 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	I prefered the opening. Then the middle picked up again. Pretty dope, rapid rhymes as usual. Good drop cp __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

10-12-2013, 06:11 PM	#6
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	haha thanks @Certain. yeah the more i read this the less i like it aswell..i was just bored and wrote some random shit. there wasn't alot here thats for sure... i didn't put enough effort into this and now i rerget it.. oh well.. yes plot i honestly did think of naming it that... but it just wasn't good enough to deserve that title haha, thx for the looks geno Legend yeah man lets collab. hit me up with whatever. im down __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-10-2013, 10:38 AM	#2
Plot Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,374 Battle Record: 26-32 Rep Power: 1309744	Should have been named: Overall possible total most bestest.

10-12-2013, 07:10 PM	#7
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	I've seen better from you holmes, but I still enjoyed this shit. You have one of the most unique styles on here. It isn't flashy, but the flow is always nice as is the content. Some parts of this slacked like the section Certain pointed out, but besides that this shit was nice. We still gotta collab too man. Keep dropping holmes.