bits to follow

ill nik-A · 02-07-2013, 06:08 PM

hello bros..

constructing a punch

heres the obvious:

line 1 is ur set up line....
line 2 is the punch...
2 lines = 1 punchline

what do u look for in a battle? either humor or creativity/wit

how to pack a punch u ask?

the 2 main ingredients are...
1 - the concept - the main focus behind the punch... it can consist of one word or phrase
2 - wording - the way u make that concept standout.. its all about the way u deliver it

these are the keys to constructing a good punch

once u master these... the rest comes together - such as flow/ multies - no one word rhyming cuz that really takes away from the way the punch is carried

now... how do u stay from the obvious u ask...

a simile is usually simplistic... I'm give u an example of how I like to coordinate my lines

Quote:

how many times u tried stopping me?
u have faith in ur abilities… its just ur concepts are atheist & ya wording’s into scientology

notice the "how many times u tried stopping me" line... simple but sets up the punch perfectly...

"faith in ur abilities" is the concept in this one... now the way I worded it is what made this one a beauty... faith ties up religion (atheist and scientology) so I connected with his opposites for the diss...

this line is a bit lengthy... but the sting makes people forget about that and the tad of choppiness, know why? cuz the concept and wording are STRONG... only those things can let u get away with other minor details

my recommendation is to begin with ur concept... word it in as many ways as u think and choose ur best...if flow makes it work better by using multies go for it... but that shouldnt be ur first choice of concentration.... concept and wording should be... never sacrifice a punch for flow... but its ok to sacrifice flow for a punch

also... as u get creative remember the point is dissing ur opponent... i see it all the time when someone references something that does not attack their opponent... u didnt accomplish shit by that...

this is lesson 1...

I want u guys to set up and word the following concept in this thread

"u're trash"

due Saturday before noon

thx

Witty · 02-07-2013, 06:43 PM

This is dope, and I'm gonna post the punch asap, thanks man.

Ghost1 · 02-07-2013, 09:43 PM

Dope.

I actually remember that bar.....lol

HERE TO CO-TUTOR W NIK THE GOD

THE UNDEFEATED TAG PHENOM LIVES

nah but for real ill peep in now an again if ya git questions for me im down to help, i dont mind critiquimg verses eother as a handful of others on the site already know

Gl bros

King Ra. · 02-07-2013, 10:29 PM

So nik n Bags are my tutors. How ironic, huh? I think I found my main issue, that shit with the flow. I'll definitely take this into consideration. Bags, drop them secrets boi.

Obey · 02-08-2013, 02:42 AM

This is good shit

Obey · 02-08-2013, 03:09 AM

Shit for you is goin backwards instead
you're trash, when he's fuckin his girl she puts a paper bag on his head

Ghost1 · 02-08-2013, 08:07 AM

LOL@aimz

But yo

Nik touched on most of the key fundamentals im gonna re read his input an maybe offer a lil thought to it a lil later but everything he said is right on the button

ill nik-A · 02-09-2013, 11:45 AM

No more lines?!?

Ghost1 · 02-09-2013, 12:16 PM

Lazy niggas.

King Ra. · 02-09-2013, 04:16 PM

I'll drop a few today.

ill nik-A · 02-09-2013, 07:56 PM

Wow and y'all want help and can't do a simple assignment?!

Whatever

King Ra. · 02-09-2013, 08:19 PM

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. @ill nik-A @Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

Obey · 02-09-2013, 08:35 PM

He must be trying to get a free hit, you know your shit sucks
and your trash right next to those empty bottles of cough syrup
He wont buy somethin unless its discounted by half or more
you're trash and treasure isn't something you're in the market for
No one smart is going to lend you cash bitch
your trash so white it walks in the thread with no shoes n a denim jacket

Obey · 02-09-2013, 08:36 PM

where the fuck is every one else

ill nik-A · 02-09-2013, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Keith

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. @ill nik-A @Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

Yes I go with concepts first... Then word them.... Try different ways... Make sure ur set ups connect the punch

I'm not done yet... I got more sonning to do

Obey · 02-10-2013, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Keith

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. @ill nik-A @Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

There's a chick who blows off on weekends, the whore gets fathered
she happens to be your trash, go take out monday mornings garbage

Obey · 02-10-2013, 08:20 AM

Yo can you give us a good example of this you are trash thing so we can see how you would use that concept

ill nik-A · 02-10-2013, 11:13 AM

The best use of it IMO was this...

Quote:

No one smart is going to lend you cash bitch
your trash so white it walks in the thread with no shoes n a denim jacket

Why? It's original... The obvious is taking the ure trash concept and connecting with a garbage reference... The flip made this work and u shied away from the obvious very well

I likes it

The taking u out like Monday morning wording is weak... It's stating the obvious... Same thing I said to keep away from

The concept is only as good as ur wording... I just wanted u guys to know that a simple concept can work if worded well

Shoot me some questions and I will explain as much as I can

If bags wants to add something shoot

Witty · 02-10-2013, 12:09 PM

Fucking whore, be walking the streets even when it rains and you're wet thru
That's why you're trash...u wait on curbs for strange men to come and get you
@ill nik-A @Bags

Obey · 02-10-2013, 02:01 PM

So you're asking me to be stupid

02-07-2013, 06:43 PM	#2
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	This is dope, and I'm gonna post the punch asap, thanks man. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

02-09-2013, 11:45 AM	#8
ill nik-A Super Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 7,420 Battle Record: 70-25 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Battle Arena - BA Picture - Picture Battle Tournament - Netcees Battle League (3x) - Netcees Writers League (2x) - Summer Classic VI - Fall Brawl III - Netcees Battle League Season X - Lyric Olympics Rep Power: 77164519	No more lines?!? __________________ Grumpy old man.

02-09-2013, 07:56 PM	#11
ill nik-A Super Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 7,420 Battle Record: 70-25 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Battle Arena - BA Picture - Picture Battle Tournament - Netcees Battle League (3x) - Netcees Writers League (2x) - Summer Classic VI - Fall Brawl III - Netcees Battle League Season X - Lyric Olympics Rep Power: 77164519	Wow and y'all want help and can't do a simple assignment?! Whatever __________________ Grumpy old man.

02-10-2013, 12:09 PM	#19
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Fucking whore, be walking the streets even when it rains and you're wet thru That's why you're trash...u wait on curbs for strange men to come and get you @ill nik-A @Bags __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

02-07-2013, 09:43 PM	#3
Ghost1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 26,334 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 84181445	Dope. I actually remember that bar.....lol HERE TO CO-TUTOR W NIK THE GOD THE UNDEFEATED TAG PHENOM LIVES nah but for real ill peep in now an again if ya git questions for me im down to help, i dont mind critiquimg verses eother as a handful of others on the site already know Gl bros

02-07-2013, 10:29 PM	#4
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	So nik n Bags are my tutors. How ironic, huh? I think I found my main issue, that shit with the flow. I'll definitely take this into consideration. Bags, drop them secrets boi.

02-08-2013, 02:42 AM	#5
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	This is good shit

02-08-2013, 03:09 AM	#6
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	Shit for you is goin backwards instead you're trash, when he's fuckin his girl she puts a paper bag on his head

02-08-2013, 08:07 AM	#7
Ghost1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 26,334 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 84181445	LOL@aimz But yo Nik touched on most of the key fundamentals im gonna re read his input an maybe offer a lil thought to it a lil later but everything he said is right on the button

02-09-2013, 12:16 PM	#9
Ghost1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 26,334 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 84181445	Lazy niggas.

02-09-2013, 04:16 PM	#10
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	I'll drop a few today.

02-09-2013, 08:19 PM	#12
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest, you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage. That's what I came up with off the top. What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight. Speak. @ill nik-A @Bags And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

02-09-2013, 08:35 PM	#13
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	He must be trying to get a free hit, you know your shit sucks and your trash right next to those empty bottles of cough syrup He wont buy somethin unless its discounted by half or more you're trash and treasure isn't something you're in the market for No one smart is going to lend you cash bitch your trash so white it walks in the thread with no shoes n a denim jacket

02-09-2013, 08:36 PM	#14
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	where the fuck is every one else

02-10-2013, 08:20 AM	#17
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	Yo can you give us a good example of this you are trash thing so we can see how you would use that concept

02-10-2013, 02:01 PM	#20
Obey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 718 Battle Record: 2-4 Rep Power: 1236368	So you're asking me to be stupid