Week 1 - Vulgar vs. Adonis - VULGAR WINS 6-4

[Mike Wrecka]

Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread , preferably edit it in the check in

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss
If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension


Topic -




Good Luck @Vulgar @Adonis[/CENTER]

[Vulgar]

yessirr, here.

[Adonis]

lets skip the pleasantry's and go straight to this sodomitical soiree

I prefer your competition kind sir...

[Vulgar]

Not another apocalypse biopsy.


Pollen decays, it's what it's meant to do
we thought the mortar within Solomon's Gate inseparable
Destructive tendencies followed a plague of seppuku's
technologically ancient residues caked upon the lake of heaven's crescent moon
Perhaps we're epileptic fools - as blunt edged as a vivisection tool
auctioning off the pale horse of death for Cinderella mules
coroners raise foggy glasses of bourbon to our sprawling debts
accosted flesh, the darker depths of the neck help in determining the cause of death
Corruption: an infection eating away at the workings of a harlot's breast
does it constitute the prostitutional clause of why we're all a wreck?
The Mayan scrolls were kept in iron-bolted desks
inside it rolls the head of every tyrant, tome or wretch
who tried to own a stretch - where the Incisive burn the feeble
Suddenly, righteous turns to peaceful:
only in the case of scientific dictatorships via hypodermic needles

Bleeding may occur in the bodies of evidence
suffocation, strangulation, starvation? Probably negligence
Blackflag bloodclots - the discoloration of your twisted biological melanin
Mismanaging our fate, too damaged to escape
giving lip service to the amateur campaign "Planet of the TAKE!"
could've just toe tagged the talkin' animals and mailed em' to the Cape
Dear Judgment Day jury, you seem a bit too panicky
This is the dead poet's society, with the slightest hint of anarchy
Literary devices can be explosive
Let the mighty anthem commemorate
'cause if the world ends, then phytoplankton can celebrate

[Adonis]

Dirt air and warfare; Years in the making,
Glistening glare of acid cascading,
Earth's been a gamble... Now pay up,
Civilized chaos, Life and time of a dais,
The animalistic skin wrap betrayed us,
Nailed – Defiled – and Degrade us,
Your mother we created ever methodically,
Light and Dark meshed, but skins hate was an oddity,
Boils and Plagues... Famine and Graves.
Be damned and enslaved or Rich in plush estates...


Meanwhile; earth spun; drifting afar,
The welded bond once shared, was ripped apart,
insecurity's stripped and scarred,
The Hammer – Lives in hearts,
Mortal Paradox, the anvil left the dock...
Mammal's built an ark for the right of passage,
Glorifying stars instead of recognizing madness,
Eye's open...Eye's burn,
Earth spins as 'our' stomachs all churn....


Dirt air floating; ash made including Jesus,
The best known thesis is 'save the best for last',
Understand past was once futures shoot of craps,
But more Tobacco then Oxygen created a relapse.
Dark and musky, the forecast is Cloudy,
So touchy, because the subject's you abruptly,


Living is fine; but consequences will bind,
So when the coffin needs one nail, I promise she's mine,
Hammer is heart: remember Light and Dark?
No prime median, No happy ending of massage,
Just Gotham's Filth as an attractive mirage,
Today's visage is... Earth is mom,
Yet the barrage of feet pierce her skirt and arm,
War was bombed as guns were palmed,
Knives were flung in the backs of young you mourn,
Earth filled with gas instead of fueling corn.
Such Irony: Seeds never reaped what they sowed,
Instead, elders made a world of distaste and mold,
Building Monoliths to gods instead of nurturing nature,
Death in betrayal... A man disguised but was a virtuous savior.


Sun blackened. Blood Moon
What happened??

~Earth's Tomb~

'We' Created you in love, except your fate,
And Thank You for teaching...
We aren't perfect God's.

Asphyxiate

[NYCSPITZ]

lmao Vulgar's verse was nasty as fuck. Started and ended dope. Only part that seemed slow in comparison were the last 4 bars of the opening stanza, I don't think books have heads but it still left an indelible vulgaresque signature which is always a good thing. Ending was dope af, creativity out the asshole.

Adonis I enjoyed the cadence of your verse. Some dope lines:

Mammal's built an ark for the right of passage,
Glorifying stars instead of recognizing madness,
Eye's open...Eye's burn,
Earth spins as 'our' stomachs all churn....

^^ ill...I took this to mean humanity irreparably damaged earth to the point where leaving Earth was the only option left. It's an interesting question, I just peeped a youtube about how humanity could create a spaceship which holds 250,000 people and travel at a reasonable fraction of the speed of light (about 7%) if we all worked together to build such a structure within 100years. Supposedly, it's actually a project which might be plausible with our current technology. Anyways, I appreciate the fleshed out verse. The concept of humanity as "god" beings who choose to suffocate the Earth is cool.

I thought a lot of Vulgar's imagery just stood out in a standout way here and his ending was dirty. I'm gonna give it to him.

V/ Vulgar

[Certain]

Vulgar: I really liked this verse, as an open mic piece. Your balance of a deep lexicon, consistent imagery and pinpoint rhyme mechanics is unmatchable. You have the most complex style on this site. But I think your approach to this photo was paradoxically simple. The beauty of that photo comes from the nostalgia of the colorful pinwheel in contrast to the bleakness of the surroundings. That angle felt almost ignored in your devastating portrait of a world collapsed. Moreover, you did nothing to humanize the man in the mask. I prefer specificity, and your approach felt like something to address the topic of the apocalypse rather than handling the depth of the image provided. Your writing is amazing, and your verse was excellent out of context. But in a topical league, approach is everything.

Adonis: You, too, went for the more straightforward end-of-the-world approach, which was disappointing. I thought you did a better job expressing nostalgia for the world that was. Your wording isn't as clean and crisp as Vulgar's, though. For instance, "the subject's you abruptly" is an interesting concept, but the wording was unnatural. I think that holds you back a bit. More naturalist diction could allow your deeper concepts to shine. I did appreciate the poetry of a few sections and the internal references, such as bringing up the hammer twice. Some of the metaphors could have used a little more space to breath, but again, crisper wording could have solved that issue. The concept of men as gods in a world we both created and destroyed was pretty good, though again, it didn't feel as directly tied to the photo as I would have preferred. This was a very good verse, but it didn't have the creativity necessary to outshine Vulgar's immaculately tight and inventive writing.

Vote: Vulgar

[e11even]

Vulgar

Terrific piece. This was pretty seemless, awesome metaphorical description throughout. I read this several times, and it sounds better every time. Good stuff.


Adonis

This entry was dope. I could sense a bit of narrative anger as if telling it
after the fact. I was very into it and, like Vulgar's, it was almost
flawless. Almost. I only had a problem with some rhyming being off:

(i.e. "graves,estates";

Dirt air floating; ash made including Jesus,
The best known thesis is 'save the best for last',
Understand past was once futures shoot of craps,
But more Tobacco then Oxygen created a relapse.
Dark and musky, the forecast is Cloudy,
So touchy, because the subject's you abruptly).




Overall, fucking incredible. Same angle, but different minds exploring
this apocalyptic drama and the culprits behind it. Both well-written
with bomb ass closers, but there were, seemingly no rhyme flaws in
Vulgar's joint. This was too good of a battle for me to judge this without
reading several times. Thanks guys for making this interesting. MVGT VULGAR. Great job.

[Scripter]

I believe both writers are extremely talented. Although I do agree with Certain about both of you picking the same subject. We can see in the picture the world is up side down and the person looks as if he/she is at war holding on to the only little bit of color left in the picture, which is a pin wheel. Which interestingly enough is the same colors as the Windows emblem, which ironically is also upside down.
This could have been interpreted in many ways, but I do admit my first thought was war as well.


Vulgar - I believe your vocabulary and your word flow was flawless in this piece. This was an excellent read.
You started by drawing visual images beginning with a picture of death. You brought the thought of World War 2 into my head with the image of seppuku. I could visualize Japanese soldiers running their swords through them selves right before being captured.

Next you began to talk of experimentation, toxicity basically hell on earth. This drew a picture of Hitler for me.

In the next part you draw a picture of slavery followed by murder through strangulation.
Again you have excellent descriptive skills.

I thought the end was interesting although it felt a little off. I guess the stretch was your intention? You jumped from prostitution to the Mayan scrolls and the final lines seemed to relate authoritarian nature. It just seemed a bit rushed toward the end I guess.

Again overall it was a excellent read!

"Pollen decays, it's what it's meant to do
we thought the mortar within Solomon's Gate inseparable
Destructive tendencies followed a plague of seppuku's"

"technologically ancient residues caked upon the lake of heaven's crescent moon
Perhaps we're epileptic fools - as blunt edged as a vivisection tool"

"auctioning off the pale horse of death for Cinderella mules
coroners raise foggy glasses of bourbon to our sprawling debts
accosted flesh, the darker depths of the neck help in determining the cause of death"

"Corruption: an infection eating away at the workings of a harlot's breast
does it constitute the prostitutional clause of why we're all a wreck?
The Mayan scrolls were kept in iron-bolted desks
inside it rolls the head of every tyrant, tome or wretch
who tried to own a stretch - where the Incisive burn the feeble
Suddenly, righteous turns to peaceful:
only in the case of scientific dictatorships via hypodermic needles"

Adonis - I believe you vocabulary is very good as well and you also did a excellent job of drawing a visual of war.

I believe the second verse was one of your stronger verses and that the piece began to pick up more at this point. I believe you used great description and this is what made this verse stand out the most to me.

The next verse was okay but some of the lines seemed a little stretched.
Although there was decent word play in some of the lines as well.

"Meanwhile; earth spun; drifting afar,
The welded bond once shared, was ripped apart,
insecurity's stripped and scarred,
The Hammer – Lives in hearts,
Mortal Paradox, the anvil left the dock...
Mammal's built an ark for the right of passage,
Glorifying stars instead of recognizing madness,
Eye's open...Eye's burn,
Earth spins as 'our' stomachs all churn...."

"Living is fine; but consequences will bind,
So when the coffin needs one nail, I promise she's mine,
Hammer is heart: remember Light and Dark?
No prime median, No happy ending of massage,
Just Gotham's Filth as an attractive mirage,
Today's visage is... Earth is mom,
Yet the barrage of feet pierce her skirt and arm,
War was bombed as guns were palmed,
Knives were flung in the backs of young you mourn,
Earth filled with gas instead of fueling corn.
Such Irony: Seeds never reaped what they sowed,
Instead, elders made a world of distaste and mold,
Building Monoliths to gods instead of nurturing nature,
Death in betrayal... A man disguised but was a virtuous savior."

Overall I would say that Vulgars vocabulary and ability to capture detail was more advanced.

Vote - Vulgar

[Zen]

Nice showing from both writers.

Vulgar- The flow on this was great. Using vocab like you did in this piece and maintaining the flow is not an easy thing to do. I went back and reread through this shit after I read it and still enjoyed it. Good solid technical ability displayed here. Nice
Adonis- This was another great piece here imo. The line about glorifying stars instead of recognizing madness was fucking dope. Good flow on this but in some places there were slight hiccups to me, but that's possibly my fault. All in all definitely enjoyed this shit and went back and reread this piece as well.

This has the potential to be BOTW imo, and I've got to go against the grain on my vote and vote for Adonis. I just enjoyed his piece more. Props to both of yall.

[Inno]

Vulgar

your ability to puttogther such intricate word play and vocab aong side a smooth fucking read is amazing to me. I mean that is what really stands out..ilike I read this so easily it was effortless to do so..you really put together some dope imagery with your detail content I mean it was dope to read man...marveled at your skills son.

Adonis

that poetic style you got I want. but seriously your story telling along side your unique style is dope to watch bro...this was no different..chalked full of imagery through out this piece..you painted the scene and thep ic pefect. you molded a well crafted story around what you had...felt like your story had a bit more emotion than vulgars...prolly the language..that poetic style beckons that shit lol..


overall

pretty even tbh both did there thing and plated to there strengths brining to the table to dope ass verse...both did an excellent job with the pic..felt like vulgar did a more narrative laid back type of deal where as Adonis put a bit more emotion in his words...both painted the scene equally dope. for me ama go with vulgar...felt like both did an excellent job but the vulg did an nice job with his shit...reading both twice I gotta say vulgars lingers a bit more with me so that's why I cast my vote to him.

vulgva

[Aesthetic]

Vulgar:

Pollen decays, it's what it's meant to do
we thought the mortar within Solomon's Gate inseparable


Absolutely Fuckin sick.

coroners raise foggy glasses of bourbon to our sprawling debts
accosted flesh, the darker depths of the neck help in determining the cause of death

Drop it man, your the shit; got it.

who tried to own a stretch - where the Incisive burn the feeble
Suddenly, righteous turns to peaceful:
only in the case of scientific dictatorships via hypodermic needles

Your not done? siiick!

Let the mighty anthem commemorate
'cause if the world ends, then phytoplankton can celebrate

Well man, I loved it; had a little trouble seeing the "apocolypse vibe." Mostly felt like a hip-hop rapture, fucking everytopic in the world up with abstract string theories and literal translations.

You basically blew my mind with the verse and I forgot what the picture was.


Adonis:

Dirt air and warfare; Years in the making,
Glistening glare of acid cascading,
Earth's been a gamble... Now pay up,

Perfect flow, im digging it.

Be damned and enslaved or Rich in plush estates...

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A+

Meanwhile; earth spun; drifting afar,
The welded bond once shared, was ripped apart,
insecurity's stripped and scarred,
The Hammer – Lives in hearts,
Mortal Paradox, the anvil left the dock...

Over my head, enjoyed what little I could grasp of the words nonetheless.


Dirt air floating; ash made including Jesus,
The best known thesis is 'save the best for last',
Understand past was once futures shoot of craps,
But more Tobacco then Oxygen created a relapse.
Dark and musky, the forecast is Cloudy,
So touchy, because the subject's you abruptly,

I feel like this shouldn't have been included for some reason.

Living is fine; but consequences will bind,
So when the coffin needs one nail, I promise she's mine,
Hammer is heart: remember Light and Dark?

I feel a large amount of love towards this right here man, more please.

No prime median, No happy ending of massage,
Just Gotham's Filth as an attractive mirage,
Today's visage is... Earth is mom,
Yet the barrage of feet pierce her skirt and arm,
War was bombed as guns were palmed,
Knives were flung in the backs of young you mourn,
Earth filled with gas instead of fueling corn.
Such Irony: Seeds never reaped what they sowed,
Instead, elders made a world of distaste and mold,
Building Monoliths to gods instead of nurturing nature,
Death in betrayal... A man disguised but was a virtuous savior.

Sun blackened. Blood Moon
What happened??

~Earth's Tomb~

'We' Created you in love, except your fate,
And Thank You for teaching...
We aren't perfect God's.

Asphyxiate

To sum this up it was a very interesting read keeping right up with Vulgars A+ verse. You addressed more issues and were very critical about the direction not only peice was going but like, the world to..

very very very happy I read yalls drop.


V/Adonis

You had a lot more to say and I respect that, not only in the length of your piece but each bar in it's own.

Vulgar had an all around better game though and I would have voted for him if he put more emotion into it rather intellectuallism; you came a few words away from a win. For the record I enjoyed your verse a hell of a lot more.

[Certain]

Vulgar leads 5-2.

[Dove Dozer]

tough battle. BOTW imho.

wow. ok vulgar has the vocab like an encyclopedia, damn. Nice vivid verse rich with plenty of detail. man, your verse is like looking through a magnifying glass. crazy verse.

Adonis, I thought you weren't able to meet vulgars verse but damn you did. nice short lines which were perfectly matched up here. the flow on this was impeccable. really nice depth to this as well. proving that so much can be said with little words.


I thought both verses were top notch. this deserves BOTW.

vote Adonis

[Frank]

Vulgar
Lord of the quirk. Over seeer of all idiosyncrasies. A lot of exotic words I'll take your word for. Good rhyming ability paired with extensive know how of unknown knowledge capped off with a zany imagination make Vulgars verses a pleasure to parade through.Good to see yoj remain diligently dope .

Adonis
The heart wrencher, Adonis always gotta touchy heart line. Poetic ,not many can get away with disregarding rhyme schemes in favor of natural thought. Original style, quite fancy.

BOTW

Cant give the votes the justice they deserve while typing a thumbnail a second off the phone

I will display my appreciation by writing. A masterpiece next week, thank you two for the setting the bar the season

Vote- Vulgar

[patrown]

/v vulgar- some catchy rhymes grabbed my attention right off the bat... i really enjoyed how you worded this. but i do feel like i've missed something. really sick drop.
at times, i felt like i was overwhelmed.

only in the case of scientific dictatorships via hypodermic needles

^ like there. it's not that it's not good, i just got hung up there and here.

Blackflag bloodclots - the discoloration of your twisted biological melanin

here, i wasn't irked at all,

accosted flesh, the darker depths of the neck help in determining the cause of death

and idk why. but i just thought id throw that out there. i think your opener was amazing btw.

/v adonis - profound statements. really deep. enjoyed the poetic tone. there were moments i enjoyed immensely, and i didnt get caught up at any point. to put it simply, i liked where you went with the picture a little bit more.

but that was very hard to choose....