![]() |
|
![]() |
#1 |
Senior Member
|
![]()
im the hottest around
im the queen of underground im the illest the game my bars are hot like a flame mudering these cats on tracks beefing with me killah broad attacks |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26,334
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 84181445 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Some of this is recycled....still fire tho.
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25
Accomplishments - OM HOF
Champed - Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)
Rep Power: 49604320 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
HOF but not your best work..
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 | |
6ft of Seperation
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,541
Battle Record: 3-5
Champed - Faggot of the Year (2015)
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Solid opener, although I'd like to know what underground you claim to be queen of. Also, as ground and round do rhyme, try finding ways to incorporate the "under" segment into the rhymes aswell and choosing a word better suited for it than "around"
ie; I'm the hottest with the power of a thundercloud I'm the queen of underground. Straight to the point, I like it. Would like it better if you expanded this thought. How are you the illest? And why are your bars hot like a flame? Just some pointers to take in, showing a bit more complete thoughts never hurt anyone. But as I said before, I like your forwardness. Quote:
Overall it was a simple drop, with a cpl tweaks you could of had a even better one. Hmu if you need any further help @Silver |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
Senior Member
|
![]()
trying something new thanks everyone
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
|