NWO - verse for collab w/ Hollogram

[Sho Money EMG]

The NWO

yeah, got something to address ya...
Yeah
... bout the government agenda...
Yeah
Alotta people seemin blind, or its maybe cuz theyd rather not read between the lines..
(Uh)
but I'm aware, so is Hollo gram, while they try an scare the honest man through a primal fear...
Telling everybody not to care,
just so they could fool us into rooting for Obama care...
Yeah... Illuminati tryna rule and rob me,
of my pride, wonder why, but they'll never truly find me...
The evidence is indefinite and nebulous,
used to see it negative now truly we jus represent...
Lets talk alittle bout the cover shit they struggle wit...Lets talk alittle and discuss the shit that doesn't stick...
It's so pathetic how the government be runnin shit,
everything that's published gives you wonders with another twist...
I laugh at what they tell on the news,
I mean isn't their a better excuse than a weather balloon?
For example... We need to be courageous....
UFOs sighted every region in the nation....
This global phenomenon eventually"ll be complacent...
And even a blind man wouldn't seem to be mistaken...
forced with a lack of thinking
like a pessimist does...
Embossed with the tragic fiction
being relevant stuff..
Of course The facts are twisted
in the level of trust...
The cause be cataclysmic
if its ever a grudge...
Armageddons inevitable, if ever imposed.
Ill never indulge
... in any control where the devil is chose... Rather die goodhearted than a malevolent soul...
And have my legacy told through my destiny's goals...
No matter what ...
how ever this goes
il do my best in my life & keep pushin till the end of the road.

And that's how it goes...

[Sho Money EMG]

Left feed on spooky - old verse

[Spoken]

This wasn't bad at all had a nice vibe to it... I'm guessing you wrote it to a beat. I can't tell whose who but both did good I guess... Like the diction and perspective in the meaning behind this as it stood with a good effect. The ripple cautions this nation delves is something always over looked and on some illuminati shit tbreal... Dope shit tho nice drop

[Sho Money EMG]

Thanks ST ... Nah the whole thing was me I just was saying it was a collab I wrote for asking with my boy hollo cuz I mention him in the verse ... And yeah I wrote to a beat he chose, I like to focus on the flow usually ... Thanks for the feed fam

[Certain]

You should delete your own posts in this thread other than the verse, so that it doesn't appear to have so many replies.

With that said, I liked this a lot better than the other verse I just left feedback on. The rhymes and content were much more linear and focused here, as though you sat down with a purpose. There was a natural tone. A lot of people hate the interjections ("Yeah," etc.), but they gave me a better sense of how the flow worked and kept in tone with the writing.

With that said, the content and a lot of the writing was cliché. It's true that no idea's original, but there still remains to be said something about searching for it. I think a big part of it is that it never really felt personal or important to you. It seemed as though you wanted to repeat the images you've heard already.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

this shit just seemed uncreative.

i could go into more detail, but it'd prolly be pointless, plus...

I think a big part of it is that it never really felt personal or important to you. It seemed as though you wanted to repeat the images you've heard already.

^ son pretty much hit it on the head. & id personally say you didnt even do a good job on that.

never a hate thing, but you gon' take it how you want

#1

[Objective]

Couldn't really tell who's who in this collabo, either way I enjoyed the flow and it had a natural pace throughout. However, the content could have been interesting if you had gone more in depth on one of the topics rather than loosely referencing them, or mentioning ish people most likely have heard about anyways. Try to say something new or add on to what we already know, something poignant that'll stick.

Keep writing.