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07-15-2013, 10:43 AM
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
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Footprints On Your Assole
I couldn't give a fuck 'bout spittin' lines in a booth...
or written rhymes just for you... as what be shinin' on thru, is a side of my inner self I want real rhymers to view... the beauty's within us yet the beholder is blind yo... and braille readers can't feel the truth... when it's only false that's behind those... trailin' the miniscule, now there's a failure you've mastered in the playgrounds of mini school... if I laid down a list of rules you'd struggle to follow them... if I sprayed clowns while grippin' tools... you'd buckle from hollows friend, my mission is nothin' more than to leave you obliterated... as I am what's fuckin' raw and you are what didn't make it... Aye, It seems... everybody's a little bit anxious... considered an anus, a smidgen past insanity's clenches... on the way to becomin' a legitimate wanker, a critic slash hater when an animals penned this... you're nothin' you ass rags... but fuckers that trash class... and bein' on the brink of beginner... is sumthin a billion grasp sacred in the year twenty thirteen... yet none of y'all write...so chea, no need to fear plenty namean?... you could give me a hundred to life, I'll take the crisp Benjamin please... and all the bars that you'll pay for, have been packed into sentences that you can copy and paste more... 'cause then you'll get the props that you wanted...well obnoxiously crave, and so constantly claim thru the most preposterous ways thought... when it's an Exorcist piece, released from the pen of an Exis that'll conjure belief... Bitch if I can conquer Al-Qaeda then I can stomp on your team... if I can soften your cypher I'm the hardest to breathe... right on top of your vitals... before you've carked it, deceased...................... after the heart isn't beatin' and it's only darkness you see... I could've carved you a feast, weather or not you was tempted to eat... amongst the ones who bring carnage with such remarkable ease... to where it's often best you concede, no locked on target is freed... I bet the truly ruthless conclude shit before the start of it's schemed... I'm fuckin' armed to the teeth, a uno man army in movement... I'll leave your carcass in pieces before the end of the read... when I enter the premises partna... your quick to exit namean? I'll be sure to empty this cartridge... clocked at milliseconds in speed, then I'll watch it tear thru the cartilage 'fore a niggas skeletons reached... but that there's hardly the issue, my departure won't miss you... now give this artist your feed... like poverty stricken countries around us that be starvin' in need. |
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07-15-2013, 10:26 PM
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#2 |
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
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ill be honest exis. i skimmed through it cause i couldnt catch a good feel with my initial read. you started to get into in the second part of the verse though. still nothing mind blowing here.. feel like you rushed this, cause i know ive read better from you. keep posting tho. just my two cents for whatever its worth tonight
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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07-15-2013, 10:36 PM
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#3 |
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...DA GAWD...
Join Date: Jan 2013
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This was obviously a free verse or a flex just trying to get back into the swing of things huh?! Welcome back tho exis... Yeah I have read better from you partner but this had some flair then sum eh... Moments but DEF. some nice flow my dude.
Props tho and keep scribin, 1
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WP Po'ethics  |
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07-15-2013, 10:40 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
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The title is misleading.
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07-15-2013, 10:41 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
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The ellipsis is odd. Might you get rid of that, it might balance out your rhythm.
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07-18-2013, 07:50 AM
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#6 | |
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
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Quote:
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07-15-2013, 11:55 PM
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#7 |
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living
Join Date: Jan 2013
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faggot
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Zack Wicks for president |
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07-15-2013, 11:59 PM
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#8 |
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Mic Check
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
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haha EX whazzzup brah?!?!
glad u made er this is a prototypical Exis verse in vintage form. coming with that aggressive style and in your face cocky attitude but backed up with sneakily good rhyming. what i think i mean by that is normally a person with this kindof harder style is usually lacking in the scheming or complexity department. u sir seem to be able to handle both... and it isn't expected but then boom hits u in the face with some craziness if I laid down a list of rules you'd struggle to follow them... if I sprayed clowns while grippin' tools... you'd buckle from hollows friend, my mission is nothin' more than to leave you obliterated... as I am what's fuckin' raw and you are what didn't make it... i really don't think alot of dudes can actually rhyme like that^ Either that or when they read it just completely miss it.. i've always liked ur shit man i was gonna quote some more examples at first but then there ended up being way too many. u know where they are anyways Keep posting dude. Check out mine called the reason you're wack. haha u will def like it has intense schematics, lol
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. |
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07-18-2013, 08:14 AM
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SOBER
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How pretentious!
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07-18-2013, 09:08 AM
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#10 |
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
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Takes one to know one.
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07-18-2013, 09:20 AM
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#11 |
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...DA GAWD...
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Exis always grinding tho
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WP Po'ethics |
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07-18-2013, 09:33 AM
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#12 |
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SOBER
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It takes a pretentious to know a pretentious!?
I did like this though. |
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07-22-2013, 08:06 PM
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#13 |
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
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Just raisin' this one time for the fuck of it.
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07-23-2013, 08:10 AM
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#14 |
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.
Join Date: Aug 2013
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before you've carked it, deceased......................
after the heart isn't beatin' and it's only darkness you see... I could've carved you a feast, weather or not you was tempted to eat... amongst the ones who bring carnage with such remarkable ease... to where it's often best you concede, no locked on target is freed... I bet the truly ruthless conclude shit before the start of it's schemed... I'm fuckin' armed to the teeth, a uno man army in movement... I'll leave your carcass in pieces before the end of the read... Not sure if subtle Heart of Darkness references? This was nice. Wasn't forced at all, interesting/ unconventional rhymes that you weren't afraid to space out a bit. This made your drop feel relaxed and unassuming, but also hit really hard off the cuff. I liked it. I think your punctuation improved, and so did your delivery, since last time I read you. Keep keyin Exis
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07-23-2013, 01:52 PM
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
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There was a lot, too much, going on here. You were jumping back and forth between half-boiled intellectualizing and straight braggadocio. They can mix, but you often struggled to complete thoughts and punchlines. Moreover, the flow was similarly scattered, which made it a difficult read. I agree that the ellipses didn't help. Text rap already faces an uphill battle with regard to flow, but presentation issues only further that. There was some charisma to your word choice, though you rhymed off and used too many interjections, which is a cheap trick.
This had the feel of a very quickly written verse. Even when writing quickly, though, it can be good to take a minute to compose your thoughts and figure out what your goal is.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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07-24-2013, 10:53 PM
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#16 |
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ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
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This was nice man the flow was a ton better in the second stanza imo def just a flex piece with some nice wording and concepts. The execution was good for the most part but that first stanza really brought down the quality of the whole piece, not by much but enough to notice. Overall it was def a good drop an I can tell you didn't put a ton of effort into which says more for you thn for this piece. Keep it up man an thnks for feeding my piece
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