Dinghy.

[Certain]

The lake is made of crystals.
It shimmers to the touch but mostly
goes undisturbed. Too often
left to its own depths and the contents that consume it.
That it consumes.
The lake stares back
some nights
with the moonlight and the chirps of crickets
and a thousand tears filling its oversized puddle.
It's reaching out. It's flat. It's drowning,
and there's no one there to
throw that life preserver from the abandoned pier.
There's only the lake.
And me.

[Fig]

I was going to call you out on the abandoned peer too

[Geno]

this is actually... really fucking good.

[Frank]

I was concerned about you suppressing your artistic flair for the betterment of the league. You need to remain relevant in this department and continue to post and keep up with the Jones's.

[Baron Mynd]

this was dope, sir

[CopyPat]

didn't rhyme enough obv




edit: i would give u real feed but i don't see the point of writing poetry to b h unless ur tryna get some poetry pussy. hopefully thats the case. in real life. not on this board of all dudes

[Certain]

Originally Posted by CopyPat

didn't rhyme enough obv




edit: i would give u real feed but i don't see the point of writing poetry to b h unless ur tryna get some poetry pussy. hopefully thats the case. in real life. not on this board of all dudes

This killed me. It's all poetry, homie.

[Fig]

Upping

I'm in the middle of feed fur this piece of SHIT (na)

I shall return

Have a bump

[big baby]

idk about too fucking good also @Chyeahhh Guevara to thread is this lake manmade or is it fake? is it at threat? what about nuclear winzipper plane zippers!! anyway, this was cool. The Poetry pussy was right. You are trying. who is she

[Fig]

Okay anyways

The lake is made of crystals.
It shimmers to the touch but mostly
goes undisturbed.

Reminded me of Thoreau. Not just because you're talking about a lake either. Just the imagery itself.

Too often
left to its own depths and the contents that consume it.
That it consumes.

I forget the name of the specific trope employed here. Antithesis? Is that even a trope? Rhetorical device? Difference? I don't know, I'm still in school. Either way, this bit is my favorite and one of the more impactful moments of the piece. Verging on poignant. At this point, I'm thinking of the lake as a metaphor for the realm of our thoughts. Subconscious perhaps. Iunno.

The lake stares back
some nights
with the moonlight and the chirps of crickets
and a thousand tears filling its oversized puddle.

The line about the lake staring back is great. Fits in great with my interpretation of the piece. The imagery of moonlight and crickets was a bit dry.but achieved its goal of creating a solemn atmosphere that is good for self reflection. I wish.the last line here was more fleshed out though. its oversized puddle was confusing. I like what I THINK you were attempting to say though. An oversized puddle made of tears. In need of better wording.

It's reaching out. It's flat. It's drowning,
and there's no one there to
throw that life preserver from the abandoned pier.
There's only the lake.
And me.

solid ending.
I like seeing poetry in the om.
It makes me happay.