Fuckin' Point?

[Illume]

I gravitate towards habits for habits sake,
Rhetoric created lately is placed to captivate.
Urged to craft a cape, save, then decapitate,
I'm a paradox and half of me's only half awake.
In comin' days they'll ask 'was he a cast away'?
Or an ocean's bottle trapped lonely in a vacuum state.
When I pass away I'll be asked what did I have to say.
What I had to say is asking what point is there if I pass away.
I'm here today, then taken. 'It happens mate'.
It happens mate. I'm cast here to look past the grave.
But I'd have no grave if I wasn't cast here for happenin's sake.
So what the fuck to ask in this rap I make?
Do I get made to watch me be fabricated?
Why fabricate it if it's made nut' but a bad mistake?
Would a man relate if he heard what was the captain's take?
Or .... perhaps we're just a habit made here for habit's sake.

[Nigma]

First half, wasn't really feeling much in terms of content. The unclearity had it come across (to me) as rhymes for the sake of rhymes. The oceans bottle portion was a dope one liner and things started improving after that, you began building on concepts and sayin some shit. Two complains, would like to have seen you gone deeper concept wise, and not wasted lines in the beginning that weren't really build upon and did little to elevate the verse. Secondly, and technically speaking, the repetition of rhyming words seemed a little excessive. happens mate/grave/happenins sake are examples at a quick glance but it was very noticable especially taking into consideration the limited size of the verse. Deff some strong points though, a verse on par with the caliber as the oceans bottle line that stays on topic would make for a tight verse.

[Mitch]

The intro was kind of frail, but nice that you tied it up with the ending. I really liked everything after "In comin' days...", very creative, and i liked that you repeated several words and kept the rhyme scheme going, it almost made it more complex and simple at the same time? Cool stuff.

[PancakeBrah]

"I'm here today, then taken. 'It happens mate'.
It happens mate. I'm cast here to look past the grave.
But I'd have no grave if I wasn't cast here for happenin's sake."

Favorite section.

I liked this. I thought it was pretty creative and was saying something. I didn't think it started off slow as I particularly enjoyed the first line. Keeping the same scheme throughout isn't something I usually do but it's a technique that's enjoyable to me as reader.

Good stuff.